5. The woman who tried to change India

Confucius says – our glory is not in ever falling, but in rising every time we fall. India has been made by such great glorious people. We are enlightened by great luminaries. These Indians have not only influenced the Indian people, but have also left a cherished mark on the world. Indians like Gandhiji, Tagore, Kalam, Bose shaped this nation. Industrialists like Tata and Ambani lead this nation towards legacy. These are all great names. How about a commoner who contributed greatly to this nation? Any names? Dear Toastmasters and Guess good afternoon. Her name is Bhanwari Devi from Rajasthan. Anyone who heard of her name? She was born in a low-caste kumhar (potter) family in Rajasthan. The village was prominently filled with the upper caste Gurjars. In the 1980s, child marriages were rampant and the caste system was dominant. Bhanwari was a saathin, who was part of the Women's Development Project. She took up issues related to land, water, literacy, rape, health etc. She had the support of the villagers. In 1992, the Rajasthan government decided to launch a campaign against child marriage during a festival. Bhanwari was tasked with convincing local villagers not to conduct child marriages. The campaign was largely ignored by the villagers and faced disapproval from everywhere. However, one Mr. Ram Karan Gurjar had planned to marry off his one-year-old daughter. Bhanwari made attempts to persuade the family to stop the wedding. Even the police went to the village to stop the marriage. While they succeeded in preventing the marriage happening on that day, the marriage took place the next day. No police action was taken against this. However, the villagers associated the police visits with Bhanwari. The village boycotted Bhanwari and her family. The villagers stopped selling milk to the family or buying pots they made. On 22 September 1992, while Bhanwari and her husband were working in their field, five men Ram Karan, Ram Sukh, Gyarsa, Badri and Shravan Sharma attacked her husband, leaving him unconscious. When she came to her husband's rescue, Gyarsa and Badri raped her, while the other three pinned her down on the ground. When Bhanwari tried to lodge a FIR she faced lot of suspicion and indifference by the surmounting police. At the police station, Bhanwari was asked to deposit her "lehanga" (long skirt) as evidence. She had to cover herself with her husband's blood-stained turban and walk 3 km to the nearest village at about 1 am in the morning for medical examination. This indifference continued everywhere she went, one of the male doctor refused to medically examine, while no female doctor was present. One of the doctors wrote in his referral that she was being sent for a test "confirming her age and not rape. Another refused to conduct any tests without orders from a Magistrate; the Magistrate refused to give the orders until the next day, as it was past his working hours. As a result, the medical examination was done after 48 hours of the alleged rape, whereas law requires it within 24 hours. Police and physician’s acts damaged the evidence and resulted in the impediment of justice. Still she approached the court, but five judges were changed and the sixth judge ruled that the accused were not guilty, stating that Bhanwari's husband couldn't have passively watched his wife being gang-raped. Very unfortunately the court infamously ordered, “Since the offenders were upper-caste men and included a brahmin, the rape could not have taken place because Bhanwari was from a lower caste”. Bhanwari Devi was accused of fabricating the rape by the alleged rapists and their supporters, and faced public humiliation in her village. She refused monetary compensation to avoid allegations that she did this to get money. In 2007, 15 years later, the Rajasthan High Court on appeal, held only one hearing on the case and two of the accused were dead. Bhanwari Devi and her family were ostracized by villagers. When her mother died, her brothers and others did not allow her to participate in the funeral. We all know that Bhanwari didn’t get the justice she deserved. But, guess what happened? Her example encouraged several rape victims to prosecute their rapists. That lead several nationwide protests and campaigns. Also in some time, the average age of the first-time mother in Rajasthan had gone up to 17 years. An NGO Vishaka took her case up and a number of women's rights activists and lawyers filed a Public Interest Litigation (PIL) in the Supreme Court of India. As a result of the efforts of all of them today we have the famous - Vishakha Guidelines. One of the landmark judgments in the history of India to deal with sexual harassment at the workplace. It’s a victory to all men and women in India who want this nation to reach its zenith. A small woman made an enormous change. She stood up for justice, she stood up for what’s right, and she stood up for humanity. Its souls like her that makes India proud. As they say, Leader is not about titles, positions or flowcharts. It is about one life influencing another, and she really does.

Breaking the barrier

How many you believe that human body has a limit? How many agree that human mind has restrictions? According to fable, mavens said for years that the human body was simply not proficient of running 4-minute a mile. It wasn’t mere hazardous; it was impossible. Further legends hold that people had tried for thousand years to break the barrier, even tying bulls behind them to surge the speed to do the incredible. In the 1940’s, the mile record was 4:01, where it stood for nine years, as runners struggled with the idea that, just maybe, the experts had it precise. Dear Toastmasters and Guests Good afternoon – in 1954, Roger Bannister broke the 4-minute barrier, running the expanse in 3:59. As part of his training, he obstinately envisioned the attainment in order to craft wisdom of breaking the barrier in his mind and body. Hardly a year after Bannister’s feat, 24 people ran a mile in below 4 minutes. Now, it’s almost a routine. It took a sense of breaking the barrier for Bannister to do what was considered un-doable. He alone was capable to create that certainty in himself without seeing any proof that it could be done. I’ve perceived firsthand what a tiny conviction can do. I was in 10th standard. Like everyone else I thought I need to be an all-rounder, not only in studies but I shall excel in sports too. And for all my enthusiasm and eagerness, I gave my name for 100 meters race. The race day came. I was all set to run with energy drinks, energy bars, sprays, warm ups and oomph. And they called – on your marks, ready set go….I hardly ran 30 meters I felt some pain in my chest. By the time I reached 50 meters I was almost down and with great difficulty I reached 80 meters and crawled towards 100 meters mark. That day I decided running is not meant for me and I am not meant for running. It was set and settled in my mind that I can’t run. My family consoled me saying its ok….running is only for those who want to run away. Future had its own spell. I decided to trek to the Everest base in 2011. I was so enthusiastic to climb that glorious path. But my lead said, I need to run 5 km every day in order to be fit for the climb. My devastating running coup was haunting. It took me days and weeks to gather courage and push myself, however the rigor of climb was so much that I started off with 100 meter run, within a week 500 meters, within a month 2 kms and within 3 months….I was able to run 5 km with enough breaks and hydration. I completed my Everest Base Camp trekking. But, even after my trekking I continued habit of running and in 2012 – completed my first 10k run, then second and then the third and then the fourth, saga continued. It was in 2014 when I completed my first 21k. It was tough, strenuous, agonizing. But I never wanted to give up. Then I started preparing myself for 42k. This time it’s twice the distance and I started off my run at around 5 in the morning. I was one among the 18 women in Bangalore who were running 42.2 k that day. A thought of giving up in between flashed in my mind many a times. But I took a look at the runners ahead me and behind me and then go forward, breaking that barrier of “I can’t run” and then I completed my two full marathons. When you become certain of something, when you focus on it every single day, something “magical” happens. Not New Age magical, but science magical. We have a system in our bodies called the reticular activating system (RAS) that helps our brains decide what information to focus on and what to delete. When you have a clearly-defined purpose, a mission, and when you live every moment in a state of certainty that you’ll achieve it, you influence what your RAS filters out and what lights it up. As a result, you pay special attention and that helps you achieve what you’re after. When I was trying to do my full marathon, I was certain that I’d do it. There was no reason for this certainty. But I found it somewhere in myself that I can do it. Dear All, it’s the same thing with toastmasters, all I had was conviction to complete my project speeches and here I am with my ACS. It’s cliché; but let us pledge today to be certain of ourselves and be what we want. Let’s break the barrier.

WHY Me

Thomas Edison tried two thousand different materials in search of a filament for the light bulb. When none worked satisfactorily, his assistant complained, “All our work is in vain. We have learned nothing. And above all why us” Edison replied very confidently, “Oh, we have come a long way and we have learned a lot. We know that there are two thousand elements which we cannot use to make a good light bulb.” Raise your hands if you ever faced obstacles in life? Raise your hands if you changed your perspectives to solve a problem, or overcome an obstacle in life? Dear Toastmasters and Guests Good afternoon. Life is all about perspectives. It’s about the way we look at it. It’s about the way we see it. For a pessimist the glass might be half empty, for an optimist it might be half full and for a realist if you drink the half one, you can replenish it again… Here is a small story about perspectives. One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son, quite a young child, brimming with curiosity, understanding the ways of life, questioning and looking around the world with pinch of surprise, on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live. They spent a couple of days visiting various poor and underprivileged families. They played in the dirty waters flowing around in the small streams near the village side. They spent few nights on the farm that had no electricity, no Facebook, no twitters to share the selfies and photos. At the end of the trip father says to his son, “you know son, how privileged you are. Each family here asks day and night – why us?” The boy was quiet. On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, “How was the trip?” “It was great, Dad.” “Did you see how poor people live?” the father asked. “Oh yeah,” said the son. “So, tell me, what you learned from the trip?” asked the father. The son answered: “I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. “We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. “We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. “We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them.” The boy’s father was speechless. Then his son added, “Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are- and why us”… Dear All, What did you understand from the above story? What we consider as a privilege may not be a privilege for someone else. Often when we face obstacles in our day-to-day life, our hurdles seem very small in comparison to what many others have to face. The boy’s mindset shows us that it’s the attitude that matters. When Edison came across certain obstacles all he had was positive attitude towards life. Never give up mentality that kept him going. In our daily lives, we share common experiences with friends, coworkers, lovers, and complete strangers we cross on the street. But these experiences are rarely as similar as we expect them to be. A guy likes a girl’s photo. For her it’s just another like button. A girl likes a guy’s photo. For him it may be beginning of a romantic story. Our parent’s strict police code, to our parents, its good parenting, but to us, its oppression/intrusion. When obstacle hit our path – we may ask ‘why me’? Just imagine the great scientist Stephen Hawking who was given 2 years to live in 1963 due to his disease, instead of asking why me, he asked why not me and he is one of the greatest scientist who is living with us today and contributing to the science. It’s important that we see things differently. Because eventually our different visions mesh together. Positive change transpires in all of our lives. So always instead of asking why me…say, why not me.

On the other hand!!

A group of young students were asked to list what they thought were “Seven Wonders of the World.” Post some disagreements. The most votes were received on Taj Mahal, Pyramids, China great wall etc : While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one student had not finished her paper yet. So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list. The girl replied, “Yes, a little, because I find so many wonders in the world that I cannot quite make up my mind which seven to choose. The teacher said, “Well, tell us what those many wonders you found are. We may help you to choose seven from among them. The girl hesitated and then opened the write up on her right hand – it had the same list - Great Pyramid, Taj Mahal, Grand Canyon, Panama Canal, Empire State Building, St Peter’s Basilica and China’s Great Wall. And teacher was curious to know what’s on the other hand – it had - some of the wonders of the world I found are: To See, To hear, To touch, To taste, To feel, To laugh, To Eat, To drink, To think, To live, To enjoy, To play, To love Stories of our life are powerful. Life stories can be just as incredible, beautiful, heartbreaking, and breathtaking as the fictional stories we watch on television and read in books. But compared to the stories of those who are around us our might be a euphoria. Existence as we fathom is a steered excursion through our own stories and the stories of others. It‘s a resource that will take you deeper into the lives of our friends, family, neighbors, and beyond. Our understanding will be complete only when we try to become compassionate, kindhearted and see what’s on the other hand. This is one such story. We live in a society that has vivid people. No matter how much we try to build the bridges and try to create a peaceful and happy society, it rather seems a utopia, a far-fetched dream. Nevertheless that effort must go on, because we are humans. With this in my mind, I too tried to volunteer at few places, few NGOs, social self-help groups since school and college days. Upping the ante I decided to do it further more. And one day we were involved in building some houses to cater to the needs of underprivileged people. That day I was more excited and enthusiastic. Being part of the society’s sustainable development is always a feel good factor. It’s like being involved and engaged with the down-trodden people. So, we a bunch of people, all young, energetic and idealistic groups traveled across to this place wherein houses were being built. We started with our assignment with lot of hope and with a sense of giving it back to the society. As usual what’s that life without pictures and selfies and there were few who were there just for that. So, after our genuine photo-session we started off with the work. That day we were painting few old houses already built by this NGO. We were painting blue, green, yellow, pink and brown and it was fun. As I was painting, I suddenly noticed a big double door, 20ft refrigerator. It really caught my attention. Not so brand new big refrigerator standing tall on the way to the small kitchen. It almost looked like bigger than the small size kitchen which was present there. My mind started pondering and wondering. If these people are below poverty line how come they have such a big refrigerator? It’s like India is a poor country filled with rich people. All my notions surrounding the fact that those who we serve as poor – are they really the needy one? Why the NGOs do not serve really the ones in sheer necessity of their service. These kinds of situations make people like us who are genuinely interested in contributing questions such contributions, suspect their credibility, question the reservation for the economically and socially downtrodden etc. That 20 ft whirlpool really whirl pooled my brain for 20 minutes. I came back and resumed my painting and decided now that I have come here, let me continue with this. Beyond certain point I couldn’t control my suspicious mind and went back and opened the door to check what is inside in it? Why do they really have to invest in such a luxury? Why can’t they rather send their kids to school? And I decided to open the door. For once I was taken aback, stunned and felt loathing about my own mindset that mistrusts, judges everything, qualms everyone. For my shock all I could see there was – any guesses? A stack of clothes. Yes they were using it as a wardrobe. It was an old refrigerator which was thrown out by one of their land owner and this lady who was serving as a maid brought it home thinking she could use it as cupboard and that’s what she exactly did. That day onwards my belief in the proverb that ‘to see is to believe’ has taken a further step ahead, don’t believe unless you examine it beyond all reasonable doubt. And I told myself don’t doubt everyone. We live in a world that’s full of complaints. We complain about our roads not being clean, our surroundings not being peaceful, our ac not working, our food not being hot, our beverages not being either warm, chilled or cold. Agree we have climbed up the ladder through our efforts, our parent’ efforts or efforts of someone else. May be not everyone in this world are not as privileged as we are. Never fail to understand what’s on the other hand. The society we live in the world we lead our life will be a better place when we make it better for all those others who are also trying to make a living here through their thick and thin. Those things we overlook as simple and ‘ordinary’ are truly wondrous. A gentle reminder that the most precious things are usually right in front of you. Your family, your friends, your love, your good health. Sometimes it is simple exercises and stories like these that remind us of the important things in life and that it is wise to stand and stare and stop and smell the roses from time to time.

Power of Rumor

How many of you believed that the world is going to end by 2012? How many thought that 2012 movie is a true story? Are these rumors or are these real stories? Did we land in moon? Did September 2001 an internal act of American intelligence? Dear toastmasters and guests? Have you ever been prey to some or the other rumor? In 2000, popular magazine in Mangalore reported about end of the world and provided all possible logical (it seemed though) reasons for that. However, world remained intact and safe, while the reporter was arrested. This one is a nice story from the album of Jataka Kathaye/ Tales. Once upon a time, in the direction of the rising sun that illuminates the mountain peaks with reddish glow of dawn, there was a wonderful forest. Trees: The forest was very dense with trees like mango, (wood apple), teak, rosewood, jakaranda, tamarind, banians, ficus, bamboo, kapok, sandalwood and various other trees in great many numbers. Flowers: There were myriads of flowers like Jasmine, rose, lilies, orchids and many other kinds. Also, there were many fruit bearing trees like Jack fruit, mangoes, plaintains, areca, coconut and many others. The forest was filled with abundant fruits and emblazoned with flowers. Animals: Deep in the forest lived many wild animals. Wild boar, wild buffalo, bison, bears, tigers, leopards, spotted deer, elephants, wolves, jackals, rabbits, wild cats, monkeys and snakes inhabited the forest. Tigresses and lionesses roamed the forest with their cubs. Birds: Birds like parrots, cuckoos, peacocks, pigeons, wild hens, kites, eagles, vultures, swans, ducks, and geese imparted great beauty to the forest. Water: From these mountain peaks, arose many streams filled with pure water and merged in the holy rivers flowing into the ocean. Amidst the mountains, in the forest, one day, a hare was resting under a banyan tree. Who was resting under a banyan tree? He had an intuition of doom and thought, “What would happen to me, if the earth will break? “. Suddenly, he heard a weird striking sound. He said, “It’s happening, the earth is breaking up”. He jumped up and ran madly without even observing the direction. When he was running through the forest, a hare saw him and asked, “What happened? Where are you going in such a hurry? “. The Hare cried,” The earth is breaking up. You better run too”. The second hare ran so fast that he overtook the first hare. As they were passing the forest, both of them shouted to other hares, “The earth is breaking up. The earth is breaking up”. Very soon, thousands of hares were running through the forest. On seeing hares running through the forest, the other animals too got frightened. The news spread from mouth to mouth and soon, everyone came to know that the earth was breaking up. It didn’t take much time before all the animals joined the race. All creatures whether reptiles or birds, insects or four-footed animals, everyone was trying to escape and their cries of fear created chaos all around. A lion standing on a hill saw all the animals running and thought,” “What is the matter?’’ “. He ran down the hill rapidly and positioned himself in front of the crowd. He shouted at them, “Stop! Stop! ”. The powerful presence of the lion curtailed the rising wave of fright among the animals. A parrot yelled, “The earth is breaking up”, alighting on a rock near him. The Lion asked,” Who said it? “. The parrot replied, “I heard it from the monkeys". When the monkeys were asked, they replied that they had heard it from the tigers. When the tigers were asked, it was found that they were informed by the elephants. The elephants told that the buffaloes formed their source. Finally, when the hares were caught up, they pointed one to another until the one, who started the menace was recognized. The Lion asked the hare, “What made you think that the earth is breaking up?” The hare wavering in fear answered, “Your Majesty, I heard it cracking with my own ears”. The Lion investigated the matter and explored the sound that the hare had heard. Ultimately, he came to know that the sound had been caused by a large coconut falling from a tree. The coconut fell on a pile of rocks causing a minor landslide. The Lion said to all the animals, “Go back to your homes. The earth is absolutely safe. Next time onwards, check a rumor before acting on it”. The animals, which were now looking quite stupid, went back to their homes. Rumors or “word of mouth” can carry positive information or negative. Unfortunately, people seem preconditioned to share negative aspects of their experiences. Scientists have argued that gossip is an important tool for social cohesion and information transmission, allowing us to function more effectively in an ever-larger society. Moreover, it’s an important tool for affective learning: it can give us a sense of who would make a good ally—or who we should avoid—even in the absence of direct contact. But can gossip influence our minds on a more profound level? Recent findings presented that yes, it can. Gossip, it turns out, can influence something as fundamental as visual processing – especially if that gossip is negative. Rumor is good at times, because you get to learn a lot about yourself that you aren’t aware about yourself. An idle tongue is the mother of all conflicts. A rumor is usually a lie that the media can legally profit from. By the way don’t tell anyone I just heard that ______ is going to buy a Harley Davidson.