Risk the Unknown

What bothers/hinders us the most? – Fear, fear of failure. For years it was held that the human body was simply not capable of running a mile in four minutes. It wasn’t just dangerous; it was impossible. People had tried for over a thousand years to break the barrier, even tying bulls behind them to increase the incentive to do the impossible. On May 6, 1954, Roger Bannister broke the 4-minute barrier, running the distance in 3:59.4. He never ran away but he ran. Guess what happened after that? 24 people ran a mile under four minute in a year. What was holding them back? Fear! No never run away – risk the unknown Dear Toastmasters and Guests Good evening! When you walk to the edge of all the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for you to stand upon or you will be taught to fly. Here is one such incident! A winter’s night and to fuel our adrenaline rushes further ahead and wanted to do a night trek. As scary and enthralling it may sound, but, that’s never out of danger and its own risk. What’s that life, where you don’t take any risk? So, we five, the bravehearts, decided to venture into a dark deep forest in the middle of the night away from the city. We start to move and the place was so dark and the dog on the street is non-stop barking to us. May be he recognised the extraordinary humans in us. We keep on moving and keep asking so many questions to each other just to forget the fear of our heart that night. But the night is getting darker in the road. And then we start climbing the mountain. We were half-way through and I really don’t know if I am the only one saw this shadow’s sitting under the tree. I open my headlamp and trying to see if someone is there but I saw (someone like a shadow). My eye couldn’t lie. And I told my friends about what I saw. We keep moving and moving until we reach that tree and we heard some human voice. Stop there. It was too windy, so we assumed it’s just our delusion. As we neared the tree, we heard it again. Can’t you hear? Stop. We stopped. None of us could really see who is that? Then I slowly tried to turn myself so that my headlamp will focus on those faces, I see – police. I told myself, this can’t be true. How in the world police reached here, even before the climax? This is not even the beginning of our trek and they already reached in there. All of us stop as obedient students. As much as we mock our police, but in the forest you get caught without anyone around, in the middle of nowhere, during midnight dark with three guys and two females, your heart goes through a slight shiver. So, two police started asking questions. I noticed that they didn’t notice me in that darkness. So, they took two of the guys to side to talk. I couldn’t hear what they spoke. And we three were standing beside in the black dark night. And they come back. My two friends said, they are asking for money- 5000 rupees per each person. I told myself welcome to India and there we have our regular police, not to be worried. And they started their interrogation- do you know what can you be booked under? Some illegal activities in the forest and the regular police threatening ways. After a while, individual questioning started. I still haven’t opened my mouth. Lawyer in me, I guess was enjoying the whole show. So, the question started with the first guy – name, age, place of work, married or unmarried, where does he work, how much he earns etc? Finally after all of them were interrogated, spotlights turned towards me - don’t you know it’s risky to come here in the night. I say yes, I know. What’s your name? – Suchithra; are you married – I say no; hmm ! you young people are totally irresponsible. I just stay quiet. Where do you work….I responded – high court. What court? I repeat – high court. Which court? Sir, where all the lawyers, judges and police gather, criminals go, that high court. Where? Bangalore. Are you a lawyer? I slowly responded – yes, I am a lawyer. With whom do you work? I reply with my senior’s name. Suddenly I recognised the change in the tone. You tell me madam, isn’t it very risky to come here and trek in the night? I respond – sir, we were told that, there will be police coverage and they will take care of us, that’s why we thought of trekking here. Who told? Sir it came in the newspaper. He replies – these newspapers are utter gibberish madam. Never trust them. Finally he agreed to leave us saying - today we are just giving you warning and letting you go. Next time onwards please don’t come here. My friends were all relaxed and we started climbing down and then reached home safely. My mind recalled, whenever the clouds of pain and sadness loomed, tears came till the eyelashes and this lonely heart got scared, tell your heart – don’t run away, face it! Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat. When troubles come, don’t’ run away, face it. It’s human to have a wish to travel: the desire to move, to satisfy your curiosity or ease your fears, to change the circumstances of your life, to be a stranger, to make a friend, to experience an exotic landscape, to risk the unknown.

Song of your life

How many of you ever felt that your efforts are not yielding bounties and going futile? Have you ever decided to give up? Have you ever felt that you should stop here? Have you ever felt that – this is the end? And what brought you back? – a friend, family, your own parents, an inspirational song, movie? Counseling? For some may be alcohol? But what is the most important factor that brought you fact? Whenever you were in such melancholy – there is an inner voice, call it your alter, subconscious, or soul, or heart – it voices out and brings you back- that’s the song of everyone’s life. Dear Toastmasters and Guests – how many of you have song of your own life? When a woman in a certain African tribe knows she is pregnant, she dwells into the wilderness with a few friends and together they pray and meditate until they hear the song of the child. They recognize that every soul has its own vibration that expresses its unique flavor and purpose. When the women attune to the song, they sing it out loud. Then they return to the tribe and teach it to everyone else. When the child is born, the community gathers and sings the child's song to him or her. Later, when the child enters education, the village gathers and chants the child's song. When the child passes through the initiation to adulthood, the people again come together and sing. At the time of marriage, the person hears his or her song. Finally, when the soul is about to pass from this world, the family and friends gather at the person's bed, just as they did at their birth, and they sing the person to the next life. If at any time during his or her life, the person commits a crime or aberrant social act, the individual is called to the center of the village and the people in the community form a circle around them. Then they sing their song to them. The tribe recognizes that the correction for antisocial behavior is not punishment; it is love and the remembrance of identity. When you recognize your own song, you have no desire or need to do anything that would hurt another. How many of you have song of your own life? Long back, when a child around 3 years old, like most of the Indian parents even that child’s family approached an astrologer to check child’s future prospects. And three astrologers said that child is going to be eternally illiterate and a billionaire. Now, we would have accepted that offer- right. But those parents were petrified and family members were appalled. All they did was teaching that child a song of life. And that child followed its own heart and whenever the cloud of pain and sadness loomed, the tears came till the eyelashes and it’s lonely heart got scared – child sang its song that had only 5 words – never never never give up. The child grew up and completed PUC with gold medal and a rank, graduation with gold medal and a rank and another graduation with gold medal and rank. Did that child become billionaire? The answer of that is hidden in the future. Well, that child is none other than the person who is standing in front of you. Well, by now I understand that – may be by learning how to read and write and becoming literate might have been a factor of hindrance on the way of someone becoming a billionaire, it might have waived off. But, nevertheless an eternal hope and confidence has been inscribed into her mind. It was a recent trek we were climbing one of the magnificent mountain in the green lush Kerala. Beauty at its best. Scenic splendor of tranquil land embellished with green- unwinding miles of fine golden sands with the boundless blue of the Arabian Sea. A land, that is mesmerizing with beautiful landscape, fascinating customs, high-intensity cultural life, placid lakes, green shades of palm trees, and an educated public so often dressed in white has highlighted its name on the circuit of many tourists in various parts of the world. And we were venturing out a forbidden trek. So, the forest rules said only till the lake one can trek not beyond that. However, two years before I trekked to the peak. So, we had to escape the eyes of guards there and venture out from the other side that was steep, strenuous and tough. And we were halfway through, one of our trek mate says – you know because of the naxal attacks they have stopped this. And I looked at myself, was wearing a red t-shirt; read jacket and red bag. I was very sure, if anyone saw us, then they would no ways let us go free. And finally we noticed the guards following us. But the issue was – you know how efficient, strong, fit our guards are. For our speed they couldn’t reach us and they in between somewhere settled down waiting for us to get down. While getting down it started pouring and the visibility went very low- I couldn’t see the person standing ten feet away from me. Blowing wind, thunder and breeze, and heavy droplets of rain, I was the last one to walk down. Suddenly somewhere in between while helping a friend I got stuck they moved ahead. They didn’t notice I was stuck and in that heavy rain- my scream was forest cry. I leg was stuck in between two rocks and I didn’t know how to get down. And I was all drenched and I remembered that guy in 127 hours. For half hour I was stuck and my friends moved forward. It was getting darker and finally I decided to tell myself – never never never give up. And pushed myself down with the strongest force I have had and I rolled down to almost life 20 ft down…..luckily my red jacket saved me of the bruises. And I am here today with you all. At times, you cannot wait someone else to sing that song for you, but you have to sign your own life song to encourage your own inner voice. You are the one who knows your song and the one who can sing it for yourself, whenever you forget it . There may not be anyone, you might be a solitary repeat in the field of your own life, and so, you have to remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused. You may not have grown up in an African tribe that sings your song to you at crucial life transitions, but life is always reminding you when you are in tune with yourself and when you are not. When you feel good, what you are doing matches your song, and when you feel awful, it doesn't. In the end, we shall all recognize our song and sing it well. You may feel a little warble at the moment, but so have all the great singers. Just keep singing and you'll find your way home. Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat. So are you going to sing the song of your life?

Dismay of Driving

I am a licensed killer! A friend of mine met with an accident and he was in the hospital. So, we all went to see him and one of my friend asked – hey what happened, so, he was like – “well, a lady driver came and hit me”. So, in response someone said – “don’t you know you got to be careful while a female is driving?” He says what? I was not even driving, I was not even on the road; I was not even on the pedestrian path; I was just lying down in a park. Dear Toastmasters and Guests Good afternoon. And here goes the proverbial prejudice, women can’t drive and men can’t cook. And the lore is also about how I have become a legendary licensed killer. When I was 9 years old, apparently my father tried to teach me “riding a bicycle”, but it seems I ran around screaming my father is trying to kill me instead of teaching. As an adult, when I tried to acquire the skill of cycling, my father had his segment of giggle on that day. It was comic on to witness my learning since it resembled as though I was waging a war with kids there. And, when I notified my father that I am buying a car and learning driving, my mind said, Suchithra, one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we can drive and that’s not true. And my father aptly said - first it’s better to learn to cross the road. The resilient I never stopped. Never never never give up was my motto. So, finally I decided to learn driving and buy a car. I was in Chennai then. I joined a driving school. After prolonged deliberations, I joined the nearest possible one. But the problem was, we could converse in only one unique language broken TamEnglish. He didn’t know English and I Tamil. So, we decided to strike a balance between our phenomenal cultural and linguistic integration with our broken English and broken Tamil. From 30 days class, I only could decipher the ravishing 7 phrases go straight; go left; go right; clutch, break and the accelerator. Final testing day came to get my DL, deadly license – driving license. It appeared like an IAS exam. And for my grace and poise I obtained the great Licence to Kill. Next week, I bought a car and from the showroom I was driving it down to my home. Well, that was the first time I was ever driving a brand new vehicle without any help and my friend was in his car driving ahead of me. It was the final curve and my friend crossed the signal and went ahead, I got stuck, I started shivering the moment I didn’t see him and got so panicked and I saw a road roller coming from the opposite side. For that minute I forgot that there is something called as break in my car and just stopped the car and I was in an imaginary world thinking the road roller, like those filmy scenes will break down and smash my car so, I got down from the car and waved and screamed him to stop the road-roller. And, there was a big tussle as if some accident happened, everyone gathered. And then later slowly I put my head down and relaxed and moved and carried on to home. From that day onwards, it struck in my mind that the car is not for me. So, again to overcome that, I once took my father as co-passenger and gave him a drop to my uncle’s home. All went fine with few breaks and humps. And my uncle asked – how’s your driving now? My father who quietly tells I was holding my life in my hand since 30 minutes just now I breathed a bit. And there were my colleagues, who used to give me ideas as to how can I overcome my fear- someone said – “maybe we should ask entire Chennai people to insure their life and property so that you can drive on the road”; and another said – “look Karuna Nidhi has two wives and in the morning he goes to the first one – that’s near your office and evening to the second, that’s near your home- so, no traffic on the road….all you need to do is follow Mr. Karunanidhi”. So, I completely am the example for that proverbial proverb- women can’t drive. Now before you ladies get angry, let me tell you a fact - A study conducted by the University of Michigan has determined that women get into more accidents than men, even though men do about 60% of the driving, while women are in the 40% range. The danger spots for women tend to be highway ramps, crossroads and T-junctions. Maybe they can’t make a concrete decision on which way to go. One theory for the higher crash ratio — other than that women are putting on their makeup while driving — is that women are shorter in general. So, let’s learn from history and be better and skilled driver, let’s drive our driving performance to the next level. I am trying my best to be a better driver. Just only that, if ever you see me anywhere on the road with a vehicle – don’t turn right; don’t turn left, don’t leave; stay wherever you are- because you never know where am I heading.

To Whom the Table Topic is called?

To Whom the Table Topic is called? “To whom the bell tolls?” any volunteer to speak about this topic? Every time, a topic is called out, our mind churns out– “to whom it is”. First topic is always Rohit, second, Madhu and third, and the list goes on. If everyone is done, then I shall pick the last topic. Then we paddle our eyes at the timer for that green card. Dear Toastmasters and Guests, the nation wants to know – To whom the topic is called? Unless our name is called out, it’s not us. Once a group of “priests” while going on a pilgrimage they had to cross a river. Then the main priest says there are many taboo topics taking bath there, please refrain from such “taboo topics”. If you witness any taboo topics, please pray “dear god, please forgive”. After a while, one of the youngest priest with lots of enthusiasm and energy screams – “dear god, please forgive”. All of the rest distinguished members hollered at once, “where/where”? That’s humans. We speak, shout, scream, express, holler, and voice out. Silence is golden speech is silver. But, silence can be bad, where speech makes a mark. It can bring out the changes in the world. If you don’t speak up when you have to, you might not be able to speak when you want to. There was this boy, who was apparently a late talker and his parents were worried about his mental development. One night at supper table, he broke his silence to say, "The soup is too hot." Greatly relieved, his parents asked why he had never said a word before. He replied, "Because up to now everything was in order”. Any guess who that genius is? - Albert Einstein. We need to speak up not just to end silence but to denounce the tyrant which is burdening the world, society around us. A famous poet Martin Niemöller says - First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out, because I was not a Socialist. Then they came for the Trade Unionists, I did not speak out, because I was not a Trade Unionist. Then they came for the Jews, I did not speak out, because I was not a Jew. Then they came for me, and there was no one left to speak for me. The poet was a prominent pastor who emerged as an outspoken public foe of Hitler and spent the last seven years of Nazi rule in concentration camps. He wrote, German leaders, had been complicit through their silence in the Nazi imprisonment, persecution, and murder of millions of people. We don’t speak because - the issues around us are like “table topics, not for us, unless our name is called”. Why one should speak up? Silence is taken up as approval. You need to speak because no one else may know. Your experience and knowledge may have value in a given situation. No one else may have your unique perspective. Your piece of the puzzle may be the most important finisher. Speak up, because -you may not be alone in your thinking. Your insightful observations and conclusions may have surfaced in other minds, but may be unwilling to speak up. By speaking up you encourage them to voice their opinions. If everyone holds back, the bus may silently head over a cliff. Anyone watched the movie, Judgment at Nuremberg? A post-world war II movie, wherein the American judge, Dan Haywood, conducts a criminal trial and passes the judgment against all the administrators/judges/policy makers who were involved with Holocaust, one of them was famous German Judge – Ernst Jennings who prosecuted many during the Holocaust. In the last scene, Ernst Jennings requests to see Dan Haywood in the prison to convince that it’s wasn’t his mistake. Ernst Jennings says from the prison - Judge Haywood... the reason I asked you to come is to tell you about: Those people, those millions of people. I thought it’s just few cases of Holocaust, we never knew there were so many people dying out there. You must believe it! He tries to persuade Dan Haywood and says – “I never knew it would come to that”. Judge Dan Haywood replies, Jennings, it "came to that" the first time you sentenced a man to death you knew to be innocent. It might be issues around us like rape, molestation, women right, children harassment, war, exploitation – if you say, hey I would rather enjoy my Saturday and Sunday brunch than joining a cause, then when we ourselves land up in that situation, the world may not stand by us. Stand by those who need your help, stand by that for what you believe in, stand for that change what you want in this world. So, next time, when a topic is called in here, don’t ask – who’s it for? It’s for you, you, you and all of us.

An affair in the mountain……

Who’s the Vice President of India; Kabaddi Captain? 50% of us do not know who our Vice President is, but Maria Sharapova not knowing Sachin is cardinal sin. It’s the high time to publish a book called – “1000 things” to know about India, first being – Sachin is our god. Dear Toastmasters and Guests - We all have an affair to talk about; a royal affair, biting affair, not knowing Sachin affair, too many affairs around. Here is the mountain affair. November 2010, my Everest Base Camp fiasco year. I was set to walk that glorious path of Everest. With my preparation, I went with a gang of 5 mountaineers. For my good or bad, they were all married. So, there was an innumerable peer pressure on me. It was fun initially. But as the days passed on, I realized – all is not well. They envied that I had no such constraint to make that “mandatory call back” every day to home – hey darling/ hey sweetheart stuff and most of the mountaineers were single, they preferred meeting and talking to me or it seemed that these married buddies were not ready or free to mingle. 14 days long trip in a place where the paths were steep; weather was tough; air was thin. But, on everyone's mind the thought of finding soul mate for me was weighing heavy. Heya! Every day, each one came up with a question “what kind of guy do you want”…..well, I wanted to play along. Since it was the mountain season, I said “someone who has summited Mount Everest”! Whose fathers what goes? My calculation was – in that season it’s tough to find an Everester and even if they find – why would he be willing to meet someone who hasn’t even been to the Everest base? Savvy? Lawyer’s mind helps! Hunt started – like treasure hunt – hunt for an Everest guy. The beauty of the Everest path is, you meet climbers from all over the world, Germany, UK, USA, Japan, Holland, Poland you name them, and you find them. My group was so determined to find an Everest guy. Wherever we stopped for coffee, tea, lunch and dinner – they would briefly summarize the issue to the house owner and he would pass that – “customary smile” at me and tell, we have many – you pick and choose. My group was selective in their choice. Their criteria were – a 6 footer/ tall/dark/handsome/qualified/ earning/ unmarried/healthy/fit & if he is Indian nothing like it …..So the list continued to the point that – one day we were playing antakshari – and one of them got an idea – he should be a singer too, so that he can play antakshari with us. Next day, the climb was too strenuous to carry even water; so, an idea sirji – a weight lifting champion. One more from females that if he is a photographer – it would be Happy Meal combo, we can pose and he can click. I was wondering….if they were in search of a guy or a discovery channel host. Finally an order was placed for a “6 footer/tall/dark/handsome/qualified/Indian/Caucasian/singer/ trekker/clicker/lifter/traveler & an Everester. Our search was like Ph.D. research, never-ending and I was glad, they failed. But, whenever you find a key to success, someone changes the lock. While descending, we visited few places, where we rendered our tender! Aila there were few bidders. Yet nothing could suit our specifications. Finally, we reached a beautiful place, surrounded by glorious Himalayas, ringing yak chimes and dust erupted by thousand travelers. The owner was smiling. I got little suspicious. He was the one who said, that his brother was on the Everest. Mind flashed – oh probably he is back. Gang was elated that their plan clicked. Everywhere in the world, it’s a girl, who enters with tea, sweets and what not, the role play changed here. The owner declared – voila, my brother is here. All were waiting for a – “6 footer/ tall/dark/handsome/la la la and an Everest guy. The guy enters – 5’5 footer, short, dark, burnt face, frost bitten nose, lengthy hair, thin tattooed body with smile of success on his face. Gang was enthralled, flabbergasted, stunned and speechless. Being a mountaineer wasn’t so easy. He proved that. They are not like the one in the movies, fairytales, or novels. The real face with surreal look is hard to digest. Gang was silent. I was thrilled to see that he had such a charming attitude, he was smiling, talking to everyone and had a pleasing personality'. And my respect for him increased when he said, this was the third time he was escorting Indian army to the Everest. Never judge a book by its cover; grass is smooth, green, and tender from far. People may not be the same as we predict, presage, portent, perceive and forecast. Even weather changes from the forecast. Each individual is different. Appreciate everyone’s individuality. Let’s not and never judge a book by its cover.