Are we alive and kicking?
Summer of 2013, a year after my swimming venture. Water
and I is love hate relationship. Water is fun, lively and cheerful
but it can terrify, terrorize, and traumatize. How can I forget the holy dip in the sea as a kid, holy
cow, it was horrendous.
I decided to evolve as a daring dazzling damsel. I managed
to swim that much, so that if I unfortunately fall into the water- I stay alive
and kicking.Then, I told myself to think beyond alive and kicking - get
rid of your fears, whenever the clouds of pain and sadness loomed, tears came
till the eyelashes, this lonely heart got scared, I told my heart, Oh Heart,
why do you cry? This is what happens in this world…you stay alive and kicking.
I decided to
take a step ahead and desired to dive. Someone said diving is better than
loving thy neighbor. After constant plans, we finally were in the boat to reach
the diving destiny. It was a mixed crowd in the boat, some couples hugging,
some puking, and talking, amidst this mixed crowd we were taught tricks of
trade.
The
instructor started with his manual. He started’ diving is an escape to a
diverse realm. Scuba (Self-contained underwater breathing apparatus), which takes
you to a sundry sphere of superb shades, shapes and speckles. You plunge to a
peaceful paradise to excite your energy and enthuse your sanities’. Hearing that,
inspiring ice breaker our heart beat rose a bit.
He started signs-
ok, go up, go down, need rest, no oxygen, not ok, equalize, beautiful etc. My
heart was beating at an express train speed. I focused on “not ok, go up
sign”…..ultimately it’sabout stay alive and kicking.
Diving spot looked
like dying spot, I told myself - I am thick skin, have a long life. World needs
me. I was made to sit, wear the diving boot, gears, and diving mask and of
course a gas tank with several tubes hanging resembled octopus’ tentacles
attached to a jacket called BCD or ‘buoyancy control device’ was enough to
intimidate me. It felt as if I am on one way trip to mars.
I was climbing backwards to the last ladder while instructor
was holding my hands. There was loud lion dance drumming in my heart.Mask
checked, regulator in the mouth, fins were fit tightly,
BCD inflated - all geared up. The BCD on my back was like carrying a building.
With the fear of falling into the water, I clutched at instructor’s hands like
a toddler who’s asked to walk.
“Don’t worry, you can let go of my hands now.” So easy
for him. What if I sink, or drown, or turn upside down. I was extremely
frightened; my body went rigid; my mind screamed ‘don’t jump’. I shook my head
to signal that I was not ready but too late, instructor let go of my hands
followed by my muffled howl so loud I bet the entire sea could hear me. I
plunged hard into the water at the same time struggling to remind myself not to
panic and suddenly to my surprise, I was floating alive and kicking……..
Instructions were dancing in the mind. The only thing I resonated
was stay alive and kicking. I was relieved when instructor jumped into the
water, took my hand, deflated my BDC and kept reminding me to equalize. It
happened so fast all of a sudden I was gliding smoothly underwater. It was startling
at first but the warm welcome by some curious little fish swimming right in
front of my mask was marvelous.
My instructor
asked me if I knew the signs, I said - alive and kicking.
Then I was
dragged to deep dark sea. Wow, an immaculate sea life. Blue, gray, yellow,
orange, red, black and white fishes, corals, herds of fishes passing you
through - in that abysmal corner – star fish was oscillating in front of me as
if I am invisible. I couldn’t blink a wink. I could see the air from my exhaled
bubbles. Large bubbles shimmering and bursting into a thousand tiny speckles
and slithering like quicksilver up to the magical marine world! A serene wonder
of marine sphere.Then we slinked further into the ocean and dived deeper….and deeper.
The only sound is you breathing in and out. I was living in a green world! I was
immersed in a totally different and fascinating place; I was an observer in
this huge aquatic world. Life happens so quietly and stealthily here without wicked
world war. Living beings slip by,
without you even knowing it. You can blink and miss something as it zips out of
sight, like a tiny camouflaged creature or Mimic Octopus.
I was lost in
the divine sea. My instructor signaled, if I am fine.
That dark deep sea resounded - you are alive
and kicking, if you have eagerness in your heart, if your eyes are filled with
dreams…learn to be free like the wind, flow like the river,sway like a fish , Embrace
every moment with open arms,See a new horizon every time with your eyes,If you
carry surprise in your eyes, it means you are alive,If you have zeal in your mind,
it means you are alive…….and yes I was alive and kicking…..
