Monday, October 13, 2014
Risk the Unknown
What bothers/hinders us the most? – Fear, fear of failure. For years it was held that the human body was simply not capable of running a mile in four minutes. It wasn’t just dangerous; it was impossible. People had tried for over a thousand years to break the barrier, even tying bulls behind them to increase the incentive to do the impossible. On May 6, 1954, Roger Bannister broke the 4-minute barrier, running the distance in 3:59.4. He never ran away but he ran. Guess what happened after that? 24 people ran a mile under four minute in a year. What was holding them back? Fear! No never run away – risk the unknown
Dear Toastmasters and Guests Good evening! When you walk to the edge of all the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for you to stand upon or you will be taught to fly.
Here is one such incident! A winter’s night and to fuel our adrenaline rushes further ahead and wanted to do a night trek. As scary and enthralling it may sound, but, that’s never out of danger and its own risk. What’s that life, where you don’t take any risk?
So, we five, the bravehearts, decided to venture into a dark deep forest in the middle of the night away from the city. We start to move and the place was so dark and the dog on the street is non-stop barking to us. May be he recognised the extraordinary humans in us. We keep on moving and keep asking so many questions to each other just to forget the fear of our heart that night. But the night is getting darker in the road. And then we start climbing the mountain. We were half-way through and I really don’t know if I am the only one saw this shadow’s sitting under the tree. I open my headlamp and trying to see if someone is there but I saw (someone like a shadow). My eye couldn’t lie. And I told my friends about what I saw. We keep moving and moving until we reach that tree and we heard some human voice. Stop there. It was too windy, so we assumed it’s just our delusion. As we neared the tree, we heard it again. Can’t you hear? Stop.
We stopped. None of us could really see who is that? Then I slowly tried to turn myself so that my headlamp will focus on those faces, I see – police. I told myself, this can’t be true. How in the world police reached here, even before the climax? This is not even the beginning of our trek and they already reached in there.
All of us stop as obedient students. As much as we mock our police, but in the forest you get caught without anyone around, in the middle of nowhere, during midnight dark with three guys and two females, your heart goes through a slight shiver. So, two police started asking questions. I noticed that they didn’t notice me in that darkness. So, they took two of the guys to side to talk. I couldn’t hear what they spoke. And we three were standing beside in the black dark night. And they come back. My two friends said, they are asking for money- 5000 rupees per each person. I told myself welcome to India and there we have our regular police, not to be worried.
And they started their interrogation- do you know what can you be booked under? Some illegal activities in the forest and the regular police threatening ways. After a while, individual questioning started. I still haven’t opened my mouth. Lawyer in me, I guess was enjoying the whole show. So, the question started with the first guy – name, age, place of work, married or unmarried, where does he work, how much he earns etc?
Finally after all of them were interrogated, spotlights turned towards me - don’t you know it’s risky to come here in the night. I say yes, I know. What’s your name? – Suchithra; are you married – I say no; hmm ! you young people are totally irresponsible. I just stay quiet. Where do you work….I responded – high court. What court? I repeat – high court. Which court? Sir, where all the lawyers, judges and police gather, criminals go, that high court. Where? Bangalore. Are you a lawyer? I slowly responded – yes, I am a lawyer. With whom do you work? I reply with my senior’s name. Suddenly I recognised the change in the tone. You tell me madam, isn’t it very risky to come here and trek in the night? I respond – sir, we were told that, there will be police coverage and they will take care of us, that’s why we thought of trekking here. Who told? Sir it came in the newspaper. He replies – these newspapers are utter gibberish madam. Never trust them. Finally he agreed to leave us saying - today we are just giving you warning and letting you go. Next time onwards please don’t come here. My friends were all relaxed and we started climbing down and then reached home safely.
My mind recalled, whenever the clouds of pain and sadness loomed, tears came till the eyelashes and this lonely heart got scared, tell your heart – don’t run away, face it! Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat. When troubles come, don’t’ run away, face it. It’s human to have a wish to travel: the desire to move, to satisfy your curiosity or ease your fears, to change the circumstances of your life, to be a stranger, to make a friend, to experience an exotic landscape, to risk the unknown.
Song of your life
How many of you ever felt that your efforts are not yielding bounties and going futile? Have you ever decided to give up? Have you ever felt that you should stop here? Have you ever felt that – this is the end? And what brought you back? – a friend, family, your own parents, an inspirational song, movie? Counseling? For some may be alcohol? But what is the most important factor that brought you fact? Whenever you were in such melancholy – there is an inner voice, call it your alter, subconscious, or soul, or heart – it voices out and brings you back- that’s the song of everyone’s life.
Dear Toastmasters and Guests – how many of you have song of your own life?
When a woman in a certain African tribe knows she is pregnant, she dwells into the wilderness with a few friends and together they pray and meditate until they hear the song of the child. They recognize that every soul has its own vibration that expresses its unique flavor and purpose. When the women attune to the song, they sing it out loud. Then they return to the tribe and teach it to everyone else.
When the child is born, the community gathers and sings the child's song to him or her. Later, when the child enters education, the village gathers and chants the child's song. When the child passes through the initiation to adulthood, the people again come together and sing. At the time of marriage, the person hears his or her song. Finally, when the soul is about to pass from this world, the family and friends gather at the person's bed, just as they did at their birth, and they sing the person to the next life. If at any time during his or her life, the person commits a crime or aberrant social act, the individual is called to the center of the village and the people in the community form a circle around them. Then they sing their song to them. The tribe recognizes that the correction for antisocial behavior is not punishment; it is love and the remembrance of identity. When you recognize your own song, you have no desire or need to do anything that would hurt another. How many of you have song of your own life?
Long back, when a child around 3 years old, like most of the Indian parents even that child’s family approached an astrologer to check child’s future prospects. And three astrologers said that child is going to be eternally illiterate and a billionaire. Now, we would have accepted that offer- right. But those parents were petrified and family members were appalled. All they did was teaching that child a song of life. And that child followed its own heart and whenever the cloud of pain and sadness loomed, the tears came till the eyelashes and it’s lonely heart got scared – child sang its song that had only 5 words – never never never give up. The child grew up and completed PUC with gold medal and a rank, graduation with gold medal and a rank and another graduation with gold medal and rank. Did that child become billionaire? The answer of that is hidden in the future. Well, that child is none other than the person who is standing in front of you. Well, by now I understand that – may be by learning how to read and write and becoming literate might have been a factor of hindrance on the way of someone becoming a billionaire, it might have waived off. But, nevertheless an eternal hope and confidence has been inscribed into her mind.
It was a recent trek we were climbing one of the magnificent mountain in the green lush Kerala. Beauty at its best. Scenic splendor of tranquil land embellished with green- unwinding miles of fine golden sands with the boundless blue of the Arabian Sea. A land, that is mesmerizing with beautiful landscape, fascinating customs, high-intensity cultural life, placid lakes, green shades of palm trees, and an educated public so often dressed in white has highlighted its name on the circuit of many tourists in various parts of the world.
And we were venturing out a forbidden trek. So, the forest rules said only till the lake one can trek not beyond that. However, two years before I trekked to the peak. So, we had to escape the eyes of guards there and venture out from the other side that was steep, strenuous and tough. And we were halfway through, one of our trek mate says – you know because of the naxal attacks they have stopped this. And I looked at myself, was wearing a red t-shirt; read jacket and red bag. I was very sure, if anyone saw us, then they would no ways let us go free. And finally we noticed the guards following us. But the issue was – you know how efficient, strong, fit our guards are. For our speed they couldn’t reach us and they in between somewhere settled down waiting for us to get down. While getting down it started pouring and the visibility went very low- I couldn’t see the person standing ten feet away from me. Blowing wind, thunder and breeze, and heavy droplets of rain, I was the last one to walk down. Suddenly somewhere in between while helping a friend I got stuck they moved ahead. They didn’t notice I was stuck and in that heavy rain- my scream was forest cry. I leg was stuck in between two rocks and I didn’t know how to get down. And I was all drenched and I remembered that guy in 127 hours. For half hour I was stuck and my friends moved forward. It was getting darker and finally I decided to tell myself – never never never give up. And pushed myself down with the strongest force I have had and I rolled down to almost life 20 ft down…..luckily my red jacket saved me of the bruises. And I am here today with you all.
At times, you cannot wait someone else to sing that song for you, but you have to sign your own life song to encourage your own inner voice. You are the one who knows your song and the one who can sing it for yourself, whenever you forget it . There may not be anyone, you might be a solitary repeat in the field of your own life, and so, you have to remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.
You may not have grown up in an African tribe that sings your song to you at crucial life transitions, but life is always reminding you when you are in tune with yourself and when you are not. When you feel good, what you are doing matches your song, and when you feel awful, it doesn't. In the end, we shall all recognize our song and sing it well.
You may feel a little warble at the moment, but so have all the great singers. Just keep singing and you'll find your way home. Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat. So are you going to sing the song of your life?
Dismay of Driving
I am a licensed killer!
A friend of mine met with an accident and he was in the hospital. So, we all went to see him and one of my friend asked – hey what happened, so, he was like – “well, a lady driver came and hit me”. So, in response someone said – “don’t you know you got to be careful while a female is driving?” He says what? I was not even driving, I was not even on the road; I was not even on the pedestrian path; I was just lying down in a park.
Dear Toastmasters and Guests Good afternoon. And here goes the proverbial prejudice, women can’t drive and men can’t cook. And the lore is also about how I have become a legendary licensed killer. When I was 9 years old, apparently my father tried to teach me “riding a bicycle”, but it seems I ran around screaming my father is trying to kill me instead of teaching. As an adult, when I tried to acquire the skill of cycling, my father had his segment of giggle on that day. It was comic on to witness my learning since it resembled as though I was waging a war with kids there.
And, when I notified my father that I am buying a car and learning driving, my mind said, Suchithra, one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we can drive and that’s not true. And my father aptly said - first it’s better to learn to cross the road.
The resilient I never stopped. Never never never give up was my motto. So, finally I decided to learn driving and buy a car. I was in Chennai then. I joined a driving school. After prolonged deliberations, I joined the nearest possible one. But the problem was, we could converse in only one unique language broken TamEnglish. He didn’t know English and I Tamil. So, we decided to strike a balance between our phenomenal cultural and linguistic integration with our broken English and broken Tamil. From 30 days class, I only could decipher the ravishing 7 phrases go straight; go left; go right; clutch, break and the accelerator. Final testing day came to get my DL, deadly license – driving license. It appeared like an IAS exam. And for my grace and poise I obtained the great Licence to Kill.
Next week, I bought a car and from the showroom I was driving it down to my home. Well, that was the first time I was ever driving a brand new vehicle without any help and my friend was in his car driving ahead of me. It was the final curve and my friend crossed the signal and went ahead, I got stuck, I started shivering the moment I didn’t see him and got so panicked and I saw a road roller coming from the opposite side. For that minute I forgot that there is something called as break in my car and just stopped the car and I was in an imaginary world thinking the road roller, like those filmy scenes will break down and smash my car so, I got down from the car and waved and screamed him to stop the road-roller. And, there was a big tussle as if some accident happened, everyone gathered. And then later slowly I put my head down and relaxed and moved and carried on to home.
From that day onwards, it struck in my mind that the car is not for me. So, again to overcome that, I once took my father as co-passenger and gave him a drop to my uncle’s home. All went fine with few breaks and humps. And my uncle asked – how’s your driving now? My father who quietly tells I was holding my life in my hand since 30 minutes just now I breathed a bit.
And there were my colleagues, who used to give me ideas as to how can I overcome my fear- someone said – “maybe we should ask entire Chennai people to insure their life and property so that you can drive on the road”; and another said – “look Karuna Nidhi has two wives and in the morning he goes to the first one – that’s near your office and evening to the second, that’s near your home- so, no traffic on the road….all you need to do is follow Mr. Karunanidhi”.
So, I completely am the example for that proverbial proverb- women can’t drive. Now before you ladies get angry, let me tell you a fact - A study conducted by the University of Michigan has determined that women get into more accidents than men, even though men do about 60% of the driving, while women are in the 40% range. The danger spots for women tend to be highway ramps, crossroads and T-junctions. Maybe they can’t make a concrete decision on which way to go. One theory for the higher crash ratio — other than that women are putting on their makeup while driving — is that women are shorter in general. So, let’s learn from history and be better and skilled driver, let’s drive our driving performance to the next level. I am trying my best to be a better driver. Just only that, if ever you see me anywhere on the road with a vehicle – don’t turn right; don’t turn left, don’t leave; stay wherever you are- because you never know where am I heading.
To Whom the Table Topic is called?
An affair in the mountain……
Who’s the Vice President of India; Kabaddi Captain? 50% of us do not know who our Vice President is, but Maria Sharapova not knowing Sachin is cardinal sin. It’s the high time to publish a book called – “1000 things” to know about India, first being – Sachin is our god.
Dear Toastmasters and Guests - We all have an affair to talk about; a royal affair, biting affair, not knowing Sachin affair, too many affairs around. Here is the mountain affair.
November 2010, my Everest Base Camp fiasco year. I was set to walk that glorious path of Everest. With my preparation, I went with a gang of 5 mountaineers. For my good or bad, they were all married. So, there was an innumerable peer pressure on me. It was fun initially. But as the days passed on, I realized – all is not well. They envied that I had no such constraint to make that “mandatory call back” every day to home – hey darling/ hey sweetheart stuff and most of the mountaineers were single, they preferred meeting and talking to me or it seemed that these married buddies were not ready or free to mingle. 14 days long trip in a place where the paths were steep; weather was tough; air was thin. But, on everyone's mind the thought of finding soul mate for me was weighing heavy. Heya! Every day, each one came up with a question “what kind of guy do you want”…..well, I wanted to play along. Since it was the mountain season, I said “someone who has summited Mount Everest”! Whose fathers what goes? My calculation was – in that season it’s tough to find an Everester and even if they find – why would he be willing to meet someone who hasn’t even been to the Everest base? Savvy? Lawyer’s mind helps! Hunt started – like treasure hunt – hunt for an Everest guy.
The beauty of the Everest path is, you meet climbers from all over the world, Germany, UK, USA, Japan, Holland, Poland you name them, and you find them. My group was so determined to find an Everest guy. Wherever we stopped for coffee, tea, lunch and dinner – they would briefly summarize the issue to the house owner and he would pass that – “customary smile” at me and tell, we have many – you pick and choose. My group was selective in their choice. Their criteria were – a 6 footer/ tall/dark/handsome/qualified/ earning/ unmarried/healthy/fit & if he is Indian nothing like it …..So the list continued to the point that – one day we were playing antakshari – and one of them got an idea – he should be a singer too, so that he can play antakshari with us. Next day, the climb was too strenuous to carry even water; so, an idea sirji – a weight lifting champion. One more from females that if he is a photographer – it would be Happy Meal combo, we can pose and he can click. I was wondering….if they were in search of a guy or a discovery channel host. Finally an order was placed for a “6 footer/tall/dark/handsome/qualified/Indian/Caucasian/singer/ trekker/clicker/lifter/traveler & an Everester.
Our search was like Ph.D. research, never-ending and I was glad, they failed. But, whenever you find a key to success, someone changes the lock.
While descending, we visited few places, where we rendered our tender! Aila there were few bidders. Yet nothing could suit our specifications. Finally, we reached a beautiful place, surrounded by glorious Himalayas, ringing yak chimes and dust erupted by thousand travelers. The owner was smiling. I got little suspicious. He was the one who said, that his brother was on the Everest. Mind flashed – oh probably he is back. Gang was elated that their plan clicked. Everywhere in the world, it’s a girl, who enters with tea, sweets and what not, the role play changed here. The owner declared – voila, my brother is here. All were waiting for a – “6 footer/ tall/dark/handsome/la la la and an Everest guy. The guy enters – 5’5 footer, short, dark, burnt face, frost bitten nose, lengthy hair, thin tattooed body with smile of success on his face. Gang was enthralled, flabbergasted, stunned and speechless.
Being a mountaineer wasn’t so easy. He proved that. They are not like the one in the movies, fairytales, or novels. The real face with surreal look is hard to digest. Gang was silent. I was thrilled to see that he had such a charming attitude, he was smiling, talking to everyone and had a pleasing personality'. And my respect for him increased when he said, this was the third time he was escorting Indian army to the Everest. Never judge a book by its cover; grass is smooth, green, and tender from far. People may not be the same as we predict, presage, portent, perceive and forecast. Even weather changes from the forecast. Each individual is different. Appreciate everyone’s individuality. Let’s not and never judge a book by its cover.
Thursday, March 20, 2014
The Seagull – Anton Chekov
Seagull – Anton Chekov The Seagull is a play by Russian dramatist Anton Chekhov.
The Seagull is generally considered to be the first of his four major plays. It dramatizes the romantic and artistic conflicts between four characters: the famous middlebrow story writer Boris Trigorin, the ingenue Nina, the fading actress Irina Arkadina, and her son the symbolist playwright Konstantin Tréplev. Following is the famous monologue from the play by – Nina, actress, who plays a character which describes how life/earth/world will be after thousand years!
NINA: Men and lions, eagles and partridges, antlered deer, geese, spiders, the silent fishes dwelling in the water, star-fish and tiny creatures invisible to the eye--these and every form of life, ay, every form of life, have ended their melancholy round and become extinct. . . . Thousands of centuries have passed since this earth bore any living being on its bosom. All in vain does yon pale moon light her lamp. No longer do the cranes wake and cry in the meadows; the hum of the cockchafers is silent in the linden groves. All is cold, cold, cold. Empty, empty, empty. Terrible, terrible, terrible. [A pause]
The bodies of living beings have vanished into dust; the Eternal Matter has converted them into stones, into water, into clouds; and all their spirits are merged in one. I am that spirit, the universal spirit of the world. In me is the spirit of Alexander the Great, of Caesar, of Shakespeare, of Napoleon, and the meanest of the leeches. In me the consciousness of men is merged with the instinct of animals; I remember everything, everything, everything, and in myself relive each individual life. I am alone. Once in a hundred years I open my lips to speak, and my voice echoes sadly in this emptiness and no one hears. . . . You too, pale fires, you hear me not. . . .
The corruption of the marsh engenders you towards morning, and you wander till the dawn, but without thought, without will, without throb of life. Fearing lest life should arise in you, the father of Eternal Matter, the Devil, effects in you, as in stones and water, a perpetual mutation of atoms; you change unceasingly. In all the universe spirit alone remains constant and unchanging. [A pause] Like a captive flung into a deep empty well, I know not where I am nor what awaits me. One thing only is revealed to me, that in the cruel and stubborn struggle with the Devil, the principle of material forces, it is fated that I shall be victorious; and thereafter, spirit and matter are to merge together in exquisite harmony and the reign of Universal Will is to begin. But that cannot be till, little by little, after a long, long series of centuries, the moon, the shining dog-star and the earth are turned to dust. . . . Till then there shall be horror and desolation. . . .
Behold, my mighty antagonist, the Devil, approaches. I see his awful, blood-red eyes . . . One thing only is not hidden from me: in my fierce and obstinate battle with Satan, the source of the forces of matter, I am destined to be victorious in the end. Matter and spirit will then be one at last in glorious harmony, and the reign of freedom will begin on earth. But this can only come to pass by slow degrees, when after countless eons the moon and earth and shining Sirius himself shall fall to dust. Until that hour, oh, horror! horror! horror! Satan, my mighty foe, advances; I see his dread and lurid eyes.
Six Blind Men & the Elephant - By John Godfrey Saxe
You see to believe. We believe what we see. Others believe what they see. There comes the conflict. When conflict arises we have 2 options. We can choose to continue the conflict or to problem solve.
In this poem 6 blind men encounter an elephant and listen for how they perceive an elephant looks like.
Six Blind Men & the Elephant - By John Godfrey Saxe (1816-1887), John Godfrey is an American poet, who is well-known for his poem six blind men and the elephant.
It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind.
The First approached the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
"God bless me!
but the Elephant Is very like a wall!"
The Second, feeling of the tusk Cried,
"Ho! what have we here,
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me 'tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a spear!"
The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up he spoke:
"I see," quoth he,
"the Elephant Is very like a snake!"
The Fourth reached out an eager hand,
And felt about the knee:
"What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain," quoth he;
"'Tis clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a tree!"
The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: "E'en the blindest man Can
tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!"
The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Than,seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope.
"I see," quoth he,
"the Elephant Is very like a rope!"
And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!
Moral:
So often in theological wars,
The disputants, I wean,
Rail on in utter ignorance
Of what each other mean,
And prate about an Elephant
Not one of them has seen.
The poem is about people mis-interpreting what’s really going on and vexing about it and jumping into the wrong conclusions. Each blind man was totally convinced that he had made the true discovery and argued his case valiantly. Each felt that he was telling the truth and the others were telling the lie. Can you tell- who was telling truth and who was telling the lie?
The poem illustrates the range of truths and fallacies. One's subjective experience can be true, but such experience is inherently limited by its failure to account for other truths or a totality of truth. The poem throws an insight into the relativism, opaqueness or overwhelming nature of truth. It shows the behavior of the experts in fields where there is a deficit or isolation of information, the need for communication, and respect for different perception.
Each one of us knows only a part. Each one of us perceives the conflict in totally different ways as per our background, experience, training, personality. We might perceive only a portion of truth. To find out the whole truth we must put all the parts together. Success lies in unity and appreciating diversity.
Just Lather, That's All Hernando Téllez
Just Lather, That's All Hernando Téllez
Translated by Donald A. Yates
Tellez, a Columbian journalist and writer, world known for his Spanish short story - “espuma y nada más” (Just Lather That’s All). The story depicts civil wars and dictatorship in Columbia. I was influenced by this story, since I too hail from sensitive communal area. It’s about an inner conflict of a barber who is shaving the captain of a military unit which has tracked, imprisoned and killed some of his comrades. The barber vacillates between thoughts of slitting the captain's throat with his razor and giving him the expert shave. The question is does he kill his enemy who is at the edge of his razor.
He said nothing when he entered. I was passing the best of my razors back and forth on a strop. When I recognized him I started to tremble. He didn't notice. Hoping to conceal my emotion, I continued sharpening the razor. He took off the bullet-studded belt that his gun holster dangled from. He hung it up on a wall hook and placed his military cap over it. Then he turned to me, loosening the knot of his tie, and said, "It's hot as hell. Give me a shave." He sat in the chair. I estimated - a four-day beard. The four days taken up in search of our troops.
Carefully, I began to prepare the soap. Immediately the foam began to rise. "The other boys in the group should have this much beard, too." I continued stirring the lather. "But we did all right, you know. We got the main ones. We brought back some dead, and we've got some others still alive. But pretty soon they'll all be dead." "How many did you catch?" I asked. "Fourteen. We had to go pretty deep into the woods to find them. But we'll get. Not one of them comes out of this alive, not one." He leaned back on the chair. I still had to put the sheet on him. No doubt about it, I was upset. I took a sheet out of a drawer and knotted it around his neck. He wouldn't stop talking. He probably thought I was in sympathy with his party.
"The town must have learned a lesson from what we did the other day". "Yes," I replied. "That was a fine show, eh?"
"Very good," I answered, turning back for the brush. The man closed his eyes and sat waiting for the cool caress of the soap. I had never had him so close to me. The day he ordered the whole town to file into the patio of the school to see the four rebels hanging there, I came face to face with him for an instant. But the sight of the mutilated bodies kept me from noticing the face of the man who had directed it all, the face I was now about to take into my hands.
His name was Torres. Captain Torres. A man of imagination, because who else would have thought of hanging the naked rebels and then holding target practice on certain parts of their bodies? I began to apply the first layer of soap. With his eyes closed, he continued. "Without any effort I could go straight to sleep," he said, "but there's plenty to do this afternoon." I stopped the lathering and asked with a feigned lack of interest: "A firing squad?" "Something like that, but a little slower." My hands started trembling again. I would have preferred that he hadn't come. It was likely that many of our faction had seen him enter. And an enemy under one's roof imposes certain conditions. I would be obliged to shave that beard like any other one, carefully, gently, like that of any customer. Yes, I was secretly a rebel, but I was also a diligent barber, and proud of my profession.
I took the razor and began the job. Bit by bit the skin emerged. The man, who had kept his eyes closed, opened them now, removed one of his hands from under the sheet, felt the spot on his face where the soap had been cleared off, and said, "Come to the school today at six o'clock." "The same thing as the other day?" I asked horrified. "It could be better," he replied. "What do you plan to do?" "I don't know yet. But we'll amuse ourselves." Once more he leaned back and closed his eyes. I approached him with the razor poised. "Do you plan to punish them all?" I ventured timidly. "All."
In the mirror I looked toward the street. Then I glanced at the clock: two-twenty in the afternoon. The razor continued. A curly beard. One of the tiny pores could be opened up and issue forth its pearl of blood. A good barber such as I prides himself on never allowing this to happen to a client. And this was a first-class client. Torres did not know that I was his enemy. It was a secret shared by very few, precisely so that I could inform the rebels of what Torres was doing in the town and of what he was planning each time he undertook a rebel-hunting excursion. So it was going to be very difficult to explain that I had him right in my hands and let him go peacefully—alive and shaved.
How easy it would be to kill him….. Damn him for coming, because I'm a revolutionary and not a murderer. How easy it would be to kill him…..
And he deserves it. Does he? No! What the devil! No one deserves to have someone else make the sacrifice of becoming a murderer. What do you gain by it? Nothing. Others come along and still others, and the first ones kill the second ones and they the next ones and it goes on like this until everything is a sea of blood. I could cut this throat just so, zip! zip! I wouldn't give him time to complain and since he has his eyes closed he wouldn't see the glistening knife blade or my glistening eyes. But I'm trembling like a real murderer. Out of his neck a gush of blood would spout onto the sheet, on the chair, on my hands, on the floor. I would have to close the door. And the blood would keep inching along the floor, warm, ineradicable, uncontainable, until it reached the street, like a little scarlet stream. I'm sure that one solid stroke, one deep incision, would prevent any pain. He wouldn't suffer. But what would I do with the body? Where would I hide it? I would have to flee, leaving all I have behind, and take refuge far away, far, far away. But they would follow until they found me. "Captain Torres' murderer.
He slit his throat while he was shaving him - a coward." On the other side. "The avenger of us all. A name to remember. He was the town barber. No one knew he was defending our cause." And what of all this? Murderer or hero? My destiny depends on the edge of this blade. I can turn my hand a bit more, press a little harder on the razor, and sink it in. The skin would give way like silk, like rubber, like the strop. There is nothing more tender than human skin and the blood is always there, ready to pour. A blade like this doesn't fail. It is my best. But I don't want to be a murderer, no sir. You came to me for a shave. And I perform my work honorably.... I don't want blood on my hands. Just lather, that's all. You are an executioner and I am only a barber. Each person has his own place in the scheme of things. That's right. His own place. The man sat up and looked into the mirror. He rubbed his hands over his skin and felt it fresh, like new. Paying me he said "Thanks”. He headed towards the door. In the doorway he paused for a moment, and turning to me he said:
"They told me that you'd kill me. I came to find out. But killing isn't easy. You can take my word for it."
Elegant Elbrus !
It all started with a white lie. Innumerable questions are unanswerable, like I am trekking, what do you do? It was my dream to travel around 7 continents of the world. Africa was what I was aiming for – the year 2013. Somehow the Kilimanjaro didn’t work out and the summit to Elbrus, highest mountain in Europe and Russia caught my attention. So signed up for the same. There was a slight chill in the heart when I realized that Elbrus had highest mortality rate and also -35* weather. However, the decision was intact. Prepared by running 5k every day and climbing the staircase and also building up a positive mindset. Started buying the stuff for the trek, skipoles, down jacket, balaclava, gaiters….just one after the other and finally my 80 liters backpack. The days were nearing for the trek. Had no courage to tell parents that I am going to climb the highest mountain in Europe and Russia. So, just mentioned that it’s a trip to Russia. They asked how many people are going, when it was answered with 12, they were fine. Then came the newspaper interview and snow-world. Finally an interview in TV-9. I knew that my parents might watch it. However, took a risk and finally didn’t get any question session from home so was fine assuming my parents are fine. I was relieved since I already informed my brother about this venture and I knew he would take care of the situation in the worst case.
Got into Moscow flight, a long journey, slept most of the time and then we landed in Moscow. After some wait, we got into Mineralyne Vody flight. We reached MV by 2 pm. From there we had to travel 4 hours on road. We met Sergey Baranov (our ‘handsome’ guide) there. Then we headed towards Terskol, wherein we had to start our Elbrus journey. The on road journey was super awesome. We were briefed about our next-day trip and we had to check out our trekking gears (down jacket, fleece, gloves etc) with guide, so that we know what to rent the next day. Next day morning had breakfast and started towards rental shop. We got our snow boots (heavy boots) and we decided to take the rest of the items on the way back.
Day-1 – Acclimatization trek to Mt.Cheget: We had to go in ski-lifts till one-point and then start our trek. It was the first day-trial with snow boot. It was like carrying 3kg weight on your feet. Not too easy as it looked like. Was feeling tired, but liked the climb. We reached the summit and on the way back- we had to walk in soft snow. Though it looked like fun, it was little hectic too, for a first timer to walk in snow. However, managed to come down and get into a restaurant. We had our lunch there, a nearby place and walked through the Terskol market and came back to the rental place. Got all our rentals – Snow-goggles, ice-axe, crampons, harness, mittens, etc.
That night after dinner, we were briefed about the next-day plan, wherein we were supposed to travel 15 minutes, then ski-lift (gandolas) and then a hike for 6 hours. A long day. Night before sleeping kind of segregated our back-packs (for the hike and Russian tour).
Day 2- to Huts - Morning after breakfast, started to ski-lift. Got into the cable cars and went up to – 3550 mtrs. We had to wait there for 6 hours due to snow. The entire road was filled with snow and the vehicle which had to carry our back-packs couldn’t move. So, we were sitting and playing anthakshari after our photo sessions. Preety and I got our share of pics with the snow-bike, all posing and modeling. It was fun watching few Russians singing “Jimi Jimi Jimi, aaja aaja aaja” whenever they spotted some Indians around. Then we started walking for some-time to reach our huts. We reached the hut and then relaxed for some-time, had our dinner. Next day plan was briefed.
Day 3- Acclimatization hike till 4600mtrs – We started our day, though we were supposed to start early, we were little behind time. Sergey used to tease us for our time-sense. We started our walk, a long walk with snow-boots. Today, I was little more comfortable with the boots, though they were heavy, they were of great support. We reached till 4500 mtrs and it started snowing. Hence we couldn’t go further, we started climbing down. Chris came to my help while climbing down. We reached the hut and then took rest.
Day 4- Resting and Ice-Axe Lesson Day – We started little late and went to a nearby place (half-an hour walk). Started on our crampons. All that was fun and play in the snow. Sliding down, ice-axe self-arrest, walking with crampons….etc. We came back to the hut and had lunch. We were briefed about the next day – Summit hike. Asked to rest. I couldn’t somehow sleep either during the day or in the night. I knew it’s going to tax on me the next day. But was all excited so couldn’t sleep a wink. Kept my back-pack ready for the next day.
Day 5- Summit Day: Got up by 3 am (can say didn’t sleep at all). Got ready. We started towards snow-cat by 5 am. Got down and started hiking. As soon as we got down, I lost my mitten; it just blew away in the wind. Vladimir tried to catch it, however, he couldn’t. By the time, he took out another pair of mittens and I tried to wear it, the group already moved away from me. However, we started walking. It was quite tiring. But still started walking. Used to get all the thoughts in my mind and the biggest thought was how to reach the group. Used to walk from flag to flag. But that gap, I wasn’t able to cover up. Then came Alex, Vladimir moved ahead. Alex started walking saying, this is how you walk, step by step. Kind of started following Alex. Then I reached the first settle down point. I kept my bag down there. And started climbing up (the tough patch). All this while I could see the group, ahead of me. Again slowly started walking and this Alex moved ahead, another Alex came in. Then we started talking in our broken language along with the walk. Tried telling Alex, no matter what he has to take me there to the summit or else I might even kill him (now while writing this, I sit back and laugh), but I actually did say that. I don’t know what Alex understood, he laughed. Then again we started walking. We reached another resting point. I saw Sergey coming showing thumbs up. I didn’t get what he was trying to say. Alex told me that, if you can’t make in another 20 minutes, they are coming down. I started almost like running, didn’t put my foot down or take a step, just started walking without stop. Alex started saying “very good very good”. Even then, I felt like laughing. I ate one snicker bar and continued my walk again. In between Alex taking my pics here and there used to boost me. He said, we are almost there, once you cross this point, you can see the summit. We crossed that point, therein I saw the rest of the team walking on their way to the summit. I saw Satya waiting there. I reached Satya, I was tired but had enough strength to walk up till there. When I saw the summit point, I knew I will be there, come what may. We started walking. Then Sergey came and told me “you’ve just 5 minutes”. I don’t know from where the hidden energy popped up, I tried to rush and of course, finally with Sergey and Satya I was on the top. Wow, what a majestic view, feeling, moment……It was all worth.
Coming down wasn’t an easy task. We were roped down and then started walking. Finally made it to the snow-cat with all the difficulties. And got back to the hut. Hakim was with arms wide open was welcoming us. It was like back home. Hugged everyone….felt so happy….! That night had the best sleep of my life (the first night after 5 days, wherein I didn’t even get up in between for loo break). Strange body and mind.
Day-6 – Back to Base - After the happiest night, we got back down. Carrying my 20kg backpack was awesome. But, still it was a good experience. Came down to Alamat, had lunch and then we went to give back the rentals. It was a beautiful evening, just loitering around in the backyard, neighboring shops, a small sneak peek to Terskol market in search of souvenirs etc.
to be cntd....
You Can/You Will/ You Must
How many of you have heard of Mount Everest? Anyone been there? Anyone been to Everest Base Camp?
Supreme mountain-walk on earth! Majestic silhouette of Mt. Everest! 5565 meters above sea level! Minus 10 temperature! Hundreds of trekkers from across the globe, India, Germany, US, UK, Italy, Poland, Holand, Africa, smiley faces saying “Namaste”, you and your thoughts. That’s Everest Base Camp (EBC) Trekking, 4th top most & toughest destination in the world”. Dear Toastmasters and guests good evening.
I was thrilled, when I heard about EBC and decided to venture. But, I never walked more than 5 mins in my life. Mind recalled, whenever the clouds of pain and sadness loomed, tears came till the eyelashes and this lonely heart got scared, tell your heart -YOU CAN, YOU WILL AND YOU MUST. My fitness regime started, run, walk, and climb. 3 months, I could run 10 kms, climb 15 floors and reduced from 67 to 57. Then comes family - my granny asks – trekking? What is trekking? We go up and? Reach the peak and then come down. Then Trek Nandi Hills -why EBC? The best answer for that is – escape.
Our adventure started with flying to world’s most dangerous airport; I told pilot “our life is in your hand”. After spectacular flight and safe landing, with 3 porters and guide we started EBC endeavor.
Traveling changes your perception. You start caring for the issues larger than you. Sight of five footer carrying godrej cupboard on his back, makes you realize life is unfair. Bollywood heroes carrying heroines doesn’t count. In that altitude, every step you take, every move you make, you get dead tired due to less oxygen. People carry gas cylinder, tables, generator and cots from 2000 ft to 18000 ft. You cognize that world is both very large and very small. You develop pristine respect for pain and suffering, seeing two-thirds of humanity struggling to get one meal a day.
15 days in mysterious world, as days passed, I was exhausted, reduced appetite, frozen water in the washroom, ice-breaking to get water; challenging but fun! Gloves, monkey cap, woolen wears, 3 socks, 1 pull over, high altitude jacket, in spite of 7 layers; cold was extreme. That evening, an old couple was approaching our guesthouse. They looked cheerful and lovely. By nature, we are curious about age. I was shocked to hear Kasahara couple was just 79. Here, we get prepared by 30 for arthritis. Fitness is ones state of mind.
One day we saw 3-acre plain ground; thousands of pebbles set one upon another. I assumed, must be prayer stones and about to set pebbles seeking salary-hike. Our guide said those are memoirs of deceased trekkers of Everest and EBC. It was scary, I stood in silence, I stood in sadness, I stood frozen, I stood in disbelief thinking of the men, women and children who lost their life, chasing their dreams.
Life was “tasteless”, without spice! 15 days, same bread omlete/lentil rice, boiled egg & hot water. Mind was humming– “Is this the feeling, I need to walk with”. Is it worth? Yes, when you stand proudly in front of elegant EBC.
After EBC, final climb was waiting. That day, I had headache. Severe headache results in retreat, no further walk. I didn’t want to give up I told myself - YOU CAN, YOU WILL AND YOU MUST. Morning, with slight headache, we started summiting; many were falling sick and waning. Each step was giant leap, hard, painful and strenuous. Peak looked too steep to walk, I thought of retreating.
I saw another old couple at 60s walking with 2 kids. Man was carrying baby in backpack and lady with a 4 year old girl, who was crying. We assumed girl is tired. Our guide offered to carry her. That small girl says – I am crying because “we are late for the sunrise, I am not tired”. Wow, my headache vanished. I told myself YOU TOO CAN, YOU WILL AND YOU MUST and started hiking. In the next one hour, I was on the peak, first among group to reach the summit. Most magnificent mountain panorama I have seen in my life: 15 days – in a land where life is simple; people are gentle, culture is wonderful; paths are steep, terrains are tough and the air is thin! I felt, as if I am on the top of the world; I really was.
I feel the same way as I stand in front of you. Never did I imagine I will walk that classic path of EBC, when I heard about it the first time. Never did I imagine, I will give Project 10 before this august audience when I joined toastmasters last April. It gave me courage, confidence, and an opportunity. A dream accomplished. All I had was “YOU CAN, YOU WILL AND YOU MUST”!
Do the impossible, travel the untraveled, ravel the unraveled, perceive the world. Spend a noon on lakeside, an evening on streets of green pasture. Hike adjacent trail. Ascend nearby mountain. Get heart broken by the "killing fields" of history. Sway in stream. These memories shape your life; they're eternal.
Dear all, will you close your eyes for a moment? Imagine - blue sky, celestial morning, divine river, enthralling clouds, frozen glaciers, gentle breeze, humble porters, jingles of yak, Soothing buddhist chants, swaying alpines, splendid sunrays on pearl white mountain, marvelous apple farms, snowy shower, nature at its glory. Open your eyes. Would you want to walk that glorious path? All you need is - YOU CAN, YOU WILL AND YOU MUST.
Just Do It !
Will you smile, if I asked you to? Great! Dear Toastmaster and guests, good evening.
"Spring has past, summer has gone and winter is here. And the song that I meant to sing remains unsung. I spent my days stringing and unstringing my instrument." – Words of a man whose heart was filled with remorse over a life half-lived. Rather than humming his reverie song, he spent his days shelving and waiting until things were just right.
She was my classmate and neighbor. We walked, talked, jumped, studied, played, danced, bounced and bullied each other, everything together- just like two peas in a pod. How can I forget those days –getting caught while trying to pluck mangoes like monkeys from neighbor’s backyard, our great scheme to smoke cigarette and trespass teachers garden? It was all forgiven in the name of naughty child’s playful triumph. Our friendship, a red red rose ended up like summer’s dark dry leave. When she slapped another friend of mine – I pinched her- she pinched back. Gloomy end of a blooming friendship. We stopped talking, playing; for fifth standard girl, it was week’s cry to handle her friend’s total silence, avoidance and arrogance. During school farewell, I thought of making peace with her.
Mind said – even she could do that. So didn’t do it. After fifth, we changed school. Still we were neighbors, every day I would look forward to my mother for the news – oh your friend came today to say hello. My wait didn’t end.
I thought, she would be invited to my home sometimes, then, I will brag about my teachers, friends and school to her. She never came. Every day, our eyes met but face turned like strangers.
Year passed by thus. We stepped on to high school. We still weren’t out of our hatred, loathing and disgust. A Wednesday afternoon, my English teacher was reading William Blake’s The Poison tree
“I was angry with my friend: I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe: I told it not, my wrath did grow”
I was angry with my friend, I didn’t tell my wrath and it did grow beyond repair. That day I decided to approach her and befriend again. I thought that weekend would be a good day. That night, I was thinking – about the possible explanations to give for delay, with which she would be fine and be my friend again. Next afternoon I hear that – that girl with beautiful eyes, my dearest friend, died due to drowning in the sea.
I was dejected, distraught, and devastated. I still am left with grief, a tormenting truth haunting my life, I didn’t smile, when I could, I didn’t forgive/ forget, while I could, I didn’t talk, while I should have; I didn’t meet, while I could have. I wedged in between my procrastination, ego, laid back like rip van winkle, in my own lazy slumber. I kept on postponing, deferring, waiting for a good day to start. It was fleeting shadow on a cloudy day. Time waits for none. Time bygone is gone by. I don't know who coined these phrases, but they must have been depressive and gloomy. We are like ostrich, trying to hide our head in the sand hoping the problems to fade!
The less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it, an eternal truth. You may delay but time will not. The best way to get something done is to begin. Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week. Tomorrow is when idlers work, fools reform and pessimists hope. Tomorrow is the only day that appeals lazy man. A year from now you may wish you had started today.
Edward Young says, ‘At thirty, man suspects himself a fool; knows it at forty, and reforms his plan; at fifty chides his infamous delay, pushes his prudent purpose to resolve; in all the nobility of thought, resolves, and re-resolves, then dies the same’. Value, snatch, grasp, and enjoy every moment. No idleness, laziness and procrastination. Be happy, not because everything is good, But because you can always find good side of everything.
Always, replace your "I can do this later", with just do it!
As you walk out of the door, if you miss someone, will you call them? Want to meet up, will you invite them? Want to be understood, will you explain? You got questions, will you ask them? Don’t like something, will you say it; like something will you state it, dream something, will you work upon it. We just have one life, which is short and sweet; keep it simple; smile- smile while you still have teeth.
Pleasure of Paragliding Paradise
20 kgs weight on your back. Standing 200 mtrs above the ground on the edge of hilltop. All watching you. Heart beats like rapid train. Radio asks – “ready?” “Free flight check had done, Suchithra ready to take off”. Fighting with the aggressive tempest to open your glide and gush through gale, instructor on the radio shouts – Run, Run, Run….. you are off the cliff with glide and within no time, you are flying in the high sky.
Dear Toastmasters and guests, that’s pleasure of paragliding paradise,
To fly in the high sky, gaze stars, view clouds, float like an eagle is human dream. Flying inspired civilization from inception. Sighting the sunrise and sunset from a calm seat in the air, braced by the buoyant twilight or morning dew, with perchance an eagle or hawk joining you off your wing tip charms you, then paragliding is for you. It’s subtle, serene, not muscle and adrenaline. It requires physical, mental alertness and vigilance than fitness. A successful paraglider listens well and thinks clearly. Trivial mistake could be fatal.
I once, was inspired by people flying from hilltop and slowly landing in the bank of a lake. Watching them dancing and swinging in the air, mind said “even I’d like to try it”. After few search, I learnt, India has excellent paragliding termini. Kamshet near Pune is one termini, where you take-off from the hilltop and land in gorgeous greenery. Deciding to accomplish my reverie of flying, reached Pune. First day, the video sessions on paragliding, briefing on DOs and DON’Ts, followed with ground-handling and bunny hops sessions, where you take-off from a slope, slowly slithering through the pasture. Since the land of flight is not smooth and air might wary, wearing good ankle support shoes is must. Though my friend took off in jiffy, mine take off was difficult. Wind pushed me backward and I had to restart the flying process.
Paraglider gear has 20 Kg backpack, wing, harness, helmet and reserve parachute, costs nearly US$3,500. It’s a non-motorized, foot-launched inflatable wing. The pilot drives the glide without any engine and supporting mechanisms from the cliff or hill-top. The pilot sits in a comfortable harness suspended by kevlar lines from the canopy and steers the paraglider with two controls. ONE can fly soaring upwards on currents of air. There is no free-falling or jumping off of cliffs. The launches and landings are slow, gentle, quiet and Serene Experience. Paragliders often stay aloft for hours, climb to cloud base, and may go Cross-Country.
Tandem flights, flying with a pilot are for those who want to taste the nerve-racking flying sensation with veteran pilot. Started in the 70s in France, by the mountaineers who were experimenting descending in relaxed and fun way. Paragliding is global sport, like climbing, rafting, trekking, mountain biking.
After 3 days course, on the final day, we started from the hilltop. Just unpack the wing, clip harness, helmet, inflate the wing overhead by letting the breeze into it, and then turn and RUN, the earth drops away and the sky is yours. View everything from up there! The worst situation in the sky is clash of two paragliders. I was petrified, when I was about to sprint another paraglider, but followed the instructions warily and both are alive. As you glide through the air, it’s a magnificent and exciting experience. You’ll fly over the mountains relishing beauty and silence. It entails audacity, bravery and control, ABC formula. While descending, slowly you have to run till you are stable and steady.
If you dream to be a flying bird, you too can try to float in the high blue sky. Paragliding is the most affordable forms of flight, perfect for those who can’t buy a plane and fancy flying. “For once you have savored flight; you will stride the earth, with your eyes turned skyward; for there you have been, and there you long to return”.
Ignorance of Law
On a bright sunny day, he wanted to share an “obscene” sms with friends. By mistake it went to one of the High Court judge’s daughter. In India for rape, imprisonment is 7 years, for sending an obscene text, its 5 years as per Section 66A of the IT act. He had no intention …..For few crimes, intention is unnecessary, he wasn’t aware that it’s a crime. “Ignorance of law is not an excuse; ignorance of judge is not a privilege”.
Dear toastmasters and guests, good evening. Womb to tomb, laws canon us. We can’t learn every law. But, let us understand few important laws touching our life like traffic, property, marriage, contract, banking laws etc. While buying property, get the title search done, give Newspaper publication. Get the agreement drafted by lawyer. Avoid copy-paste typists and agents. Don’t evade registration. Unregistered document is peril. Notarization is not registration. The Stamp Act and Registration Act mandate going to the sub-registrar’s office and registering the document.
My friend bought a property from her uncle. To save some money, she avoided legal opinion and registration. Later, she realized that her uncle wasn’t the owner and property is under litigation. Since 5 years she’s running to the court and still unsure about court’s decision. She spent 15 lakhs in the court for 30 lakhs property. There are 48972 cases on Karnataka because of unregistered document.
The Negotiable Instruments Act 1881 states cheque bouncing is an offense punishable with imprisonment. Please re-issue the cheque on such intimation. Issue the notice within 30 days of cheque bouncing and pay the money within 15 days of notice. Kingfisher Airlines is charged for cheque bouncing, since they have issued cheque without bank balance.
Where there is a will, there are 500 relatives. Don't want to give your self-acquired property to your wife and kids? Make a will and register it! In the absence of will, the property devolves as per the Hindu Succession Act 1956, equally among mother, spouse and children. One cannot make will regarding ancestral property, however, one can create a will for his share in the property. As per Marriage Laws (Amendment) Act, 1976, even an illegitimate child and children born out of live in are entitled for father’s property and maintenance. Ladies, whatever money, jewelry given to a bride in marriage by her parents and in-laws are her property, called as Streedhan, as per Hindu Marriage Act. Gold costs, be smart!
A divorced Muslim woman can’t claim maintenance from husband, unless she and her husband made an affidavit as per Section 125 of CRPC 1973. Will any clever man do that? Law says her parents, children or relatives are liable for her maintenance. If everything fails, she gets nominal maintenance from Indian Wakf Board. Non-Muslim girls marrying Muslim men should know their legal rights on conversion and marriage under Muslim law. Muslim men can legally have 4 wives. Hardly 0.2% of Muslims have more than 1 wife. Wife is the knife of my life. Muslim men can divorce by triple pronouncements of Talaq. Women married under Muslim law, have no maintenance rights, unless they marry under the Special Marriage Act.
Take assistance from lawyers, while giving police complaints, since it’s an important piece of evidence. Live example of Tejpal and Talwar case. You client breached your contract and owes money, file case within three years, before it’s barred by limitation Act 1963. Understand arbitration clause in the contract, which restricts one from approaching the court. Arbitration dodges court, but remember - bribing an Arbitrator is way easier than bribing all the judges in different courts.
Pre - marital physical relationship is legal, if the girl is above 16. The Madras High Court says couples who have premarital physical relationship to be considered ‘married’. Good news is, law recognizes live-in, bad news is women in live-in can seek relief under domestic violence law. In India, pissing in public is fine, but kissing attracts fine. IPC Section 294 penalizes public display of affection with 3 months imprisonment. However, regular kiss, goodbye hug is fine.
Courts compete in speed with IRCTC. Case winning does not guarantee relief. Executing the order with police help is vital. Amicable settlement of family matters, out of court compromise is sage. Preserve records, retain accounts; take photographs, videos note down key points, with precise dates and times. Study law regarding your region and religion, specifically marriage and property laws. Erin Brockovich or Harvey Specter is just filmy not real. Remember 99% of the lawyers give the rest a bad name.
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