In the court of 'Datings' !

I titled this as, dating a lawyer. I refrained. Lawyers have bad name. 99% of the lawyers give the rest a bad name. After Salman and Amma, I am scared to call myself a lawyer. A friend asked – what do you do if you see a lawyer drowning? Save. No, just dump all the other lawyers to the same pond. Bangalore is filled with so many engineers that, if you ever introduce yourself as a lawyer- they will stare at you like you are the 11^th wonder of the world.

Dear toastmasters and guests – Good afternoon. How many of you have a wife/husband? How many of you have a boyfriend/ girlfriend? Kishore, did you raise your hand for both? 

Lawyer’s fun starts from law school. Once we were on a court visit as part of our curriculum. Court designates places for everyone- judge, lawyers, criminals etc. We all barged in to a court wherein a rape proceeding was going on. We sat wherever we could. Suddenly, my friend gets up from his seat and drags us out of the court, screaming – blunder, big blunder. What? You know that place in the court, that’s for the criminals to sit. I sat there and asked the person sitting next to me – who is the rapist? He says –it’s me. Lawyers are tough people, so dating them would require – Non-disclosure Agreement, relationship Agreement, terms and conditions, waivers etc.

In spite of that, my friends are always after fixing a date for me. So, once I met this man. Man is important here. His name was Samayamantri Venkata Raghava Naga Sai Shankara Subrahmanya Lakshmi Krishna Vivek. I expected a South Indian in formal wear going by the name. For my utter shock – he comes in shorts with sleeveless shirt as if he was giving Rupa Frontline ad, body covered with tattoos, and eyes pierced, eyebrows pierced, tongue pierced with a hat on his head and cat in his hand. I almost looked around in the coffee shop I was sitting – with the hope that no one comes to us to show some magic. You guessed what happened post that. Well right, another date. This time, no lengthy names. Soberly dressed up techie. Conversation begins. How, where, when, what for 10 minutes. Rest 2.45 minutes of our conversation was about– How Mercedes Benz makes the car. Apparently he was working with Mercedes Benz, step by step, level by level. Last 5 minutes he takes to say – it was nice meeting you and talking to you, can I drop you home. I politely said no. He was like – no, I can show you my new BMW. Well, I was not really up for another 2.45 hours of making BMW.

Once, I was flying from Hyderabad to Bangalore. A lady next to me started random conversation. She introduced herself as – IAS officer, working at Vidhana Soudha, in the Revenue Dept. She started about her family, that I could draw a genealogy tree for her. Finally we got out of the airport. She offers to drop me home. I suspected a little. I couldn’t say no. On our way- she gives me a chocolate packet and says – I am thrilled to meet you – Thrilled? I looked at myself – do I look like a guy? Then she takes out a book from her bag – and says – this is for my memory. I told myself - all is well. When I was about to get down, near my home she is like – where is my hug? I baffled. No, I mean – no, I got down and rushed to home before she sends flying kisses. As soon as I entered home, a message from her – honey, lovely meeting honey! Here is my family picture. Lol…..this was really unexpected. Next message – sweetie – can you send your picture. It was weird.

I stopped responding to her. I get the final mail from her end – stating – sweetheart, I really liked you. I don’t know why you stopped responding to my call or messages. I am heartbroken. As puzzled as I am read further- it ended with - we are searching a girl for my brother. Well, next chapter is pretty secret.

I can go on and on about these fiascos. But, these small incidents make my life eventful, cheerful and wonderful. They do give me topics for humorous speeches. 

ಹಾರ ಹೊರಟಿಹ ಪ್ರಾಣ ಪಕ್ಷಿಯ ನೋಡಿಲ್ಲಿ

ಹಾರ ಹೊರಟಿಹ ಪ್ರಾಣ ಪಕ್ಷಿಯ ನೋಡಿಲ್ಲಿ




ರವಿ ಮುಳುಗುತಿರೆ ದೂರ ದಿಗಂತದಲಿ
ತಂಗಾಳಿ ತಬ್ಬಿ ಆವರಿಸುತಿರೆ ಮುಸ್ಸಂಜೆಯ ಮಬ್ಬಿನಲಿ
ಇಗೋ ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಎಲ್ಲವನ್ನೂ ಎಲ್ಲರನ್ನೂ ದೂರವಿಟ್ಟು
ಮನಸೇಚ್ಚೆ ಬಾಳಾಸೆಯನೇ ಒತ್ತೆಯಿಟ್ಟು
ದಿಕ್ಕು ದೆಸೆಯನರಿಯದೆಸಾಗುತಿಹ ಪರಿ
ಮೂಲೆ ಮಾಂಸ ತಡಿಕೆ ಬಂದನವ ಮೀರಿ
ಹಾರ ಹೊರಟಿಹ ಪ್ರಾಣ ಪಕ್ಷಿಯ ನೋಡಿಲ್ಲಿ

ಹೊತ್ತು ತಂದ ಕನಸ ಕಂತೆ
ನನಸಾಗಿಸ ಹೋಗಿ ಎಡವಿ ಬಿದ್ದಂತೆ
ಮೇಲೇಳೆಲೆಸದ ಛಲರಹಿತ ಮನ
ಬಗೆಗಣ್ಣು ಕಂಡ ಚಿತ್ರ ವಿಚಿತ್ರ ಜನ
ನಡುವೆ ಉಸಿರುಗಟ್ಟಿಪ ವಾತಾವರಣ
ಪ್ರಾಣವಾಯುವನರಸುತ ಉಸಿರಾಡಲೆಂದೇ ಈ ಕ್ಷಣ
ಹಾರ ಹೊರಟಿಹ ಪ್ರಾಣ ಪಕ್ಷಿಯ ನೋಡಿಲ್ಲಿ

ಕರಾಳ ಛಾಯೆಯ ಭೂತದ ವಿಷಾದ
ದುಃಖ ನಿರಾಶಾಭರಿತ ವರ್ತಮಾನದ ಕ್ರೋಧ
ಕಾತರ ಕಳವಳವಿಲ್ಲದ ಭವಿತವ್ಯವ ಕಾಣಲಿಲ್ಲಿ
ಸಿಕ್ಕಿ ಸಿಲುಕಿ ನಲುಗುತ್ತಾ (ಅ) ವ್ಯವಸ್ತೆಯ ಕೆನ್ನಾಲಿಗೆಯಲ್ಲಿ
ಬಿಟ್ಟರೂ ಬಿಡದಿಹ ಈ ಮಾಯೆಯ ಕುಹರ
ದಾಟಿ ಸಾಗುವಾಸೆ ಇದರಿಂದ ಬಹು ದೂರ ದೂರ
ಹಾರ ಹೊರಟಿಹ ಪ್ರಾಣ ಪಕ್ಷಿಯ ನೋಡಿಲ್ಲಿ

ಭುವಿಯ ಭವ ಜಂಜಾಟದಿ ಬೆಂದು
ತನು ತೆಕ್ಕೆಯ ತೋಳಲಾಟದಿ ನೊಂದು
ಬದುಕ ಬಾಳದೆ ವಿಮುಖವಾಗಿ
ಕಾಯದೆ ಅಭೀಷ್ಟಗಳ ಸಾಕಾರಕ್ಕಾಗಿ
ಬಿಡದೆ ಸುಡುತಿಹ ಒಡಲ ತಾಪಕ್ಕೆದರಿ
ಕಂಡು ಜಗದ ಗಾಣದುರುಳಿನ ಬವಣೆಯ ಪರಿ
ಹಾರ ಹೊರಟಿಹ ಪ್ರಾಣ ಪಕ್ಷಿಯ ನೋಡಿಲ್ಲಿ

ಅತೃಪ್ತಿ ಅಶಾಂತಿ ಹೆಪ್ಪುಗಟ್ಟಿ ಮಂಜಾದ ಮನ
ದ್ವೇಷ ದಳ್ಳುರಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಬೆಂದು ಹೋದ ಕ್ಷಣ
ಸೇಡಿನ ಜ್ವಾಲೆಯಲಿ ಸುತ್ತ ರೆಕ್ಕೆ ಪುಕ್ಕ
ಲಾವಾರಸ ಉಕ್ಕುತಿಹ ಹೃದಯದೊಳಗಿನ ದುಃಖ
ಹೊರ ಕಕ್ಕಲಾರದೆ ಹಿತವಿಲ್ಲದವರ ನಡುವೆ
ಬಳಿಗಿಂತ ಸಾವಿನುಡಿಯೇ ವಿಹಿತಾವೇನೆ
ಹಾರ ಹೊರಟಿಹ ಪ್ರಾಣ ಪಕ್ಷಿಯ ನೋಡಿಲ್ಲಿ

ಅಂಕು ಡೊಂಕು ದಾರಿಯನಿಚ್ಚಿಸದೆ
ನೇರದಾರಿಗೆ ಮೆಚ್ಚಿ ಸ್ವಚ್ಚನ್ದದೆ
ಹೊರಟಿದೆ ಚಿಂತೆಗೆಲ್ಲಾ ಚಿತೆಯನಿಟ್ಟು
ಭಯ ಬೇನೆ ಬೇಸರಕೆ ಕೊನೆಯ ಕೊಟ್ಟು
ಹಗಲಿರುಳೆನ್ನದ ದೂರದ ದಾರಿಯತ್ತ
ಹೊಸತಾನಕೆ ಕಿವುಡಾಗಿ ಕುರುಡಾಗಿ ಮೂಕವಾಗುತ್ತಾ
ಹಾರ ಹೊರಟಿಹ ಪ್ರಾಣ ಪಕ್ಷಿಯ ನೋಡಿಲ್ಲಿ

Win Win Negotiation

From a layman to Brexit leaders, everyone indulge in negotiation of one kind or another. Whatever is the form of profession, business one may engage in, negotiation is an essential skill to have to prosper in that given field. Country heads to party leaders, professionals to service expertise, academicians to students, investors to customers, lawyers to doctors, everyone has to negotiate in one or the other aspects of their personal or professional life.

What’s negotiation? Negotiation is generally defined as – mutual discussion by the parties having certain interest in the issues to resolve the differences and come to an agreement. Negotiation is identified as a method to settle the differences by many corporates in the present world. Negotiation is a self-developed trait than an inherent skill.

Forms: There are certain forms of negotiation too. Various methodologies are used in different forms of issues that may involve corporate disputes, legal transactions, international disputes, union-employer issues, domestic conflicts, etc.  Negotiations are not always easy. It’s an art and that requires certain pre-requisites. The good news is, one can acquire these skills and can excel in the same. There are certain key elements that make a negotiation useful, solution oriented and a win-win for the parties involved in it. 

1. Excellent Preparation: Win-win negotiation begins with an excellent preparation, reasonable bargaining and resolution oriented agreement. Satisfying the needs of various parties involved is another key to a win-win negotiation. Negotiation can’t always be one-sided. If it is, then, in the long term, it may boomerang the negotiator. It has to yield mutual benefits. Negotiation will generally happen, when both the parties have something to offer and something to negotiate. If it’s one side leaning, then it may not result in positive outcome. Ultimately, negotiation should ensure a stronger bonding between the parties than a diluted relationship status leading to bitterness. A good preparation will focus on these aspects while sitting for a negotiation.

2. Focused approach: A win-win negotiation cannot be like social media debate. It should more focus upon resolution than winning the argument or making one’s point prevail. Identification of the key – conflicting areas is the prime requirement for a negotiation. When the issues are identified, you can discuss through your way out for the resolution. A final agreement to implement the points accepted by the parties involved is necessary for a good negotiation to conclude.

3. Need and Necessity: While deciding to negotiate, the initial analysis of the need and necessity of a negotiation is mandatory. Analyzing the given situation, the points that are in one’s favor, the pros and cons, the possible outcome, the points/clauses that can be compromised or changed based on negotiation. Having a prior list of all these elements will come in handy while negotiating. In addition to these the past negotiations or the future dealings and transactions, a fair amount of awareness of these aspects will add on to one’s negotiation skillset.

4. Logic and Emotions: Logic and emotions play a significant role in a win-win negotiation. If the logic/reasoning takes the back seat and the emotions take the driver seat, then it may prove harmful to a good negotiation. The negotiator has to balance out between one’s own impulse to win and finding a resolution. In a situation wherein the parties are not willing to take a step or failing to make an attempt to come half way, it’s essential to sense the situation and take a control of the situation. At times, the digression would waste the time and energy of the parties involved. So, it’s vital that parties are concentrated on the resolution and issues to be discussed upon.

5. Give and Take: There will always be ‘give’ and ‘take’ in a negotiation. If these were absent, then the negotiation wouldn’t occur in the first place. It’s for a party to ascertain these areas, wherein they can really step forward or take a step back and be firm. One has to be flexible and open to the suggestions made by the other party and evaluate its advantages and disadvantages before agreeing on to the same. If it’s taking time, then the parties should decide to take some time and revert later on those ‘identified’ issues.

6. Alternative Plan: A negation need not always be win-win. Hence prepare to fail too. A negotiation may not always have a positive outcome for the parties. Therefore, one must have an alternative arrangement / another solution, if the negotiation didn’t go as per the initial speculation.

7. After Negotiation: Parties, once mutually agreed on the points of consensus, shall jot down the course of action for implementation of the agreed issues. This would ease the further process and procedure for the parties. This would also help the parties to identify their path forward. 

Summary: Good negotiation will have the following components: 

·         An adequate preparation;

·         Identification of the issues involved;

·         Open and positive discussion;

·         Flexibility to the suggestions;

·         ‘Give’ and ‘Take’;

·         Clarity of points, clauses that can be compromised;

·         win-win approach for both the parties;

·         Desire for resolution;

·         Balanced approach between logic/reasoning and emotions;

·         Mutual agreement;

·         Alternatives/Plan B

·         Implementation Plan

Smart Note, a miraculous demonetization gift :P

Smart Note

When the world is worried about burning Samsung notes, I am talking about a different note. My father is in ICICI, mother in Axis, brother in SBI and husband in Corporation. Sorry we aren’t a bank family; just all are standing in ATM queues. Last Sunday, I was also in need of some money but my short height couldn’t wade through the queue so I decided to visit the ATM in the midnight. I quietly go and enter the ATM and flash my debit card, ATM says – no money honey! I was in despair and about to return, suddenly ATM makes ‘’tud tud tud’ noise. Alas a new note. It slowly says – ‘hey suchi, just for you. It comes running in shah rukh khan style and stands in my palm’ 

The note gives its ice breaker speech. (It smirks and says, I know you are a toastmaster). I am smart note. One solution to all our problems. To counter poverty, terrorist financing, heavy shopping, fake notes, black money! The moment you start evading tax or file wrong returns/medical bills, I will turn automatically black in your wallet. I was in awe of this. Suddenly it winks and closes my mouth.

You know, North Korea already introduced this note. If the notes in your wallet starts vanishing I will tell, ‘aukat mein raho- stay within your limits’. The moment your spouse or children start asking you money, I will go and hide and text you- ‘sorry bro, I am not reachable’. This note has all the features. During your appraisals, the note will send an auto alert to your boss, ‘please have mercy on this fellow’. The moment you jump the signal lights, it will jump out of your wallet and go and sit in police man’s wallet. If ever you go to any government office to get done your work, it will suddenly sit on the table in front of the babus.

I wanted to check further, went to UB city and was glancing through the Louis Vuitton bag, suddenly my note says – ‘remember, you are a corporate coolie, not the CEO and toink, it gets inside my wallet.

One good thing I liked about this note is – it sends me a daily reminder of people who has to pay me money. I remember all my best friends’ every day.

It’s highly – husband friendly. It also sends a reminder to my husband if he misses to send me good morning, good afternoon and good evening messages. It totally believes in being human.  Today while I sat in my car to drive till here, it handed over my driving license and tells me, here is your license to kill the dwellers, Mrs. Bond! How diligent. It also sent a text as soon as reached, ‘Mrs. Bond, while returning, I can be your driver too.

Yesterday night I was about to sleep, and my note starts singing for me- You and I in this beautiful world and morning sends a text- you’re beautiful Suchi, whenever you go I follow, I am your hutch dog. This note and I have a love bond, so, if you ever try to steal this note, the man in the note will come and slap you, one phataak! 

Pick More Daisies

Pick More Daisies

March 19, 2016. Speeches, national anthems of two countries, songs, felicitation and all gala set the ball rolling at the Eden Garden as arch-rivals India and Pakistan clashed in a World Twenty20 match. The event made 1 billion cricket fans rejoice and despise!

Any idea who won?  You are right and wrong! – The men’s match was won by India; whereas female cricket – Pakistan won it. Pakistan's Women Cricket Captain, Sana Mir said that men tend to make better cooks than cricket players and that she was looking forward to Afridi making biryani upon his return home. I remember the day when a reporter asked Afridi about Pakistan's Women's Cricket and he replied saying women can make good biryani.

No matter whether we are in 21^st century or 22nd, we aren’t still out of the gender discrimination or the patriarchy. Everyone ridicules Anushka Sharma for Virat Kohli’s bad innings, but never saw anybody praising Anjali Tendulkar for Sachin’s great performance.

Helen Blanchard was her name. The Toastmasters International was commenced for men. In 1920s, Mr. Ralph Smedley designed TM for men, to improve their communication and leadership skills. So, women weren’t allowed to be a part of the toastmasters. But as usual, all women got curious as to why only men are allowed and why not women. So, there cometh a confident female character, who dressed up like a man and visited Toastmasters meeting regularly. She imitated men while talking, while responding and while debating. So, Helen became Homer and became one of the best speakers in the District and later a District Governor. Well, there were few who doubted Homer’s weird behavior like bringing soup to meetings, over-organization, and an eye for details etc. Finally she became the first female President of the Toastmasters International.

But, that paved the way for infiltration of women to the Toastmaster’s world, in the year 1973. Today TM has more than 2 lakhs female members all over the world.

This world has had numerous men and women who stood out and took risks for the betterment of the women. May it be Susan B Anthony, the woman who fought for universal suffrage or others who fought for women’s right in general.

There are few such robust women in our own land. Jyotiba Phule, a 19^th century activist, a social reformer, critic of the caste system, founded a school for girls, who started widow-remarriage initiative, and started a home for infant girls to discourage female infanticide.

Bhanwari Devi, a victim of gang rape who pivoted in getting the most valuable law – Vishaka Guidelines, dealing with laws against harassment of women at workplace. Sunitha Krishnan, another rape victim who brought Prajwala and works with the UN in combating human trafficking and also for the welfare of people with HIV infection. Leila Seth, the first female judge of an Indian High Court and who fought for equal right for female in the ancestral property in India.

All these females had one thing in common; they dared to make more mistakes. They didn’t mere relax or limber up. They took their dignity and self-respect quite seriously. They took more chances. They did try to climb more mountains and swim more rivers. They perhaps invited more actual troubles, than living in an imaginary fairytale world.

They lived sensibly and sanely, hour after hour, day after day. They had their moments, and if they had to do it over again, they’d have more of them. They lived just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day.

As one of the famous women says, that applies to all of us- If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would commit more mistakes, I would speak up more, and I would stand up for my own rights. I will scream for my own self respect and dignity.  I would pick more daisies and see if I could move that small stone to make a teeny weeny difference in the world. 

My favorite professor

Famous Sanskrit proverb says –asatoma sadgmaya, tamasoma jyotirgamaya, mruthyorma amruthamgaya ! Lead me from darkness to light, unreality to reality and from mortality to immortality. That’s what a great teacher does! I felt this when I met my favorite professor, Prof. Bhavanishankar Rao.

When I opted for Kannada literature, I didn’t realize its impact on me. But today, I feel proud and happy that I made that choice. We were all quite curious about this professor, who always defied the orthodox perception that a student had about literature professors. You know we all have that imagination about literature professors, kurtas, pajamas, black framed glasses, sling bag hanging on the shoulder, bearded man with a book on his left hand. He defied all of them; neither his look, nor his attitude was like a literature professor.

It was our fifth Kannada literature class. The question was about caste system. Do you agree to the caste system? Well, I wasn’t very sure then, what’s my stand on caste system? But I answered – sir, a tiger would prefer to be with tiger and not a cat! Well, that day he just smiled at my answer. Eventually, he just enlightened me about how foolish I was and today I laugh at that answer of my own as I understand the menace of entire caste system and its repercussions on the society. He totally believed that - ‘knowledge will not come from teaching but from questioning. The Kannada literature class was like – Plato’s debate society. Not even a single student would bunk Kannada class. Kannada class was like a mirror to outer world. It was our window to the external world that we were afraid and curious about. Questions, answers, debates, arguments, analysis and further more debates on current affairs, politics, science, environment, technology, corporate, criminal law, society etc etc. it was limitless.

One day I complained in the class that – ‘sir, you are targeting me! Why you ask questions only to me?’ He just asked me – ‘do you agree to democracy’. My answer was yes. Then, let’s go for majority opinion, he said. I was wondering, what he is going to do next. He just asked the entire class to vote. Raise your hands if you want me not to ask her any questions. For my surprise no one raised their hand. Later he explained- look – I don’t want to ask questions to totally a stupid person, because they would never answer. I won’t ask questions to totally a smart person like you, because I know I get the perfect answer. However, I want to ask questions who are sitting on the wall. If I don’t get a satisfactory answer from them, then yes- you’re my last resort in this class. Well, though I wasn’t convinced with his method, it made me proud.

My favorite professor changed my perception about the world outside. He didn’t feed the thoughts in my mind. He just gave me books and asked me to read and then summarize it him the next day. This continued for years and only after my graduation I realized, how these viewpoints made me think and think. He not only respected student’s diverse opinion, but encouraged to reason them out and also develop them. He is an enthusiast photographer, amazing video-film maker, an educationist, a humanist, a great writer, blogger, social activist, computer programmer, an eternal writer, who has written more than 50 books on various topics like computer, law, mythology, education, car driving, politics, religion, economics, share market, trading, photography, agriculture, gardening, logic and reasoning etc,. He was jack of all trades and master of literature. The entire college titled him as ‘walking encyclopedia’. He was the pioneer of progressive thoughts and modern approach. A rare blend that’s hard to find!

This professor, who really is the sculptor of my personality who shaped my thoughts, vision, dreams, aspiration, righteousness, He introduced me to - atheism, existentialism, nihilism, feminism, humanism, logic, reasoning, he opened my doors to reading to traveling, exploring to researching; who gave me the writers like Nietzsche to Bertrand Russell, Franz Kafka to Masanobu Fukuoka, Kant to Dostoevsky, Darwin to Hawking, Ananthamurthy to Rahamat Tarikere, Ranna to Kuvempu to Tejaswi, and put in my mind that “eternal greed” for knowledge and an everlasting zeal! A right teacher at the right time at the right place is the greatest asset one can have!!

He is someone who gleamed optimism, glimmered imagination and galvanized a love for learning – the ones who shaped the person who I am today. His memory sways in my mind for he has brought in the best out of me, which I admire about myself. Great teachers are the sculptors of a great nation, and a good world, truly believe in that!! I wish that every student is blessed with such a gifted teacher. 

Those Three Words

Those three words!

Those three words! Those three words that fascinated mankind for centuries. Those three words, that humanity tried to seek an answer. Those three words that differentiates a human from an animal. Those three words, that’s an eternal enigma. What are those three words? When I asked this question - The answer I got from few married people is – I am sorry; few toastmasters answered – table topic session, and then few others mentioned –let’s get married! Few lovers said – those three words are - ‘we should talk’!

While pondering the answer for this eternal enigmatic question, a childhood incident crossed my mind. I am an ardent admirer of nature. I was fortunate to own my ‘tiny little’ garden that we cousins named as ‘suchi’s garden’. There were petite hands playing in the slush and rainy water, planting the colorful flowers that they found beautiful. The garden was their empire and workshop, everything there was their life, every plant was their baby. Months passed by thus with these little children and their suchi garden. One day, a neighbor boy ajay came and stole a beautiful plant from suchi’s garden. The very act of their neighbor boy got those little children angry, annoyed and furious. The next day, all over their fence they wrote that ‘ajay is a thief’. Well, suchi and suchi’s cousin gang stopped talking to that thief ajay. Even till date we don’t talk to each other. Today it sounds silly to me- but, once that was the right thing to do.

As I grew older, this incident intrigued my life. Why it mattered to me. It was just a plant? Was that plant part of me? Even to date, I feel he is a wrongdoer. Is it against my principle? Who taught me that? What constitutes me, what constitutes my thoughts, what constitutes my morals, Final question was – who am I? What is life? Why am I here?

These three words have sent poets to the blank page, philosophers to the agora and seekers to the oracles.

When asked, why are we here, a great philosopher said - we are here to die a heroic death for the sake of the collective, we are here to produce off-springs, we are here to prepare them for life and we are here to provide for them, is that it? Or are we our thoughts and ideas. We should be seeking immortality for our ideas and thoughts and not our physical body.

Our belief that we are here for a purpose shows that we are so engrossed in ourselves that we feel, our existence has a purpose. We are the same species that feel animals, insects, flora, fauna and everything around us is purposeless and they are here to accommodate our existence.

We are so deeply wired to find patterns that we never accept that many things are just random. A moth is so deeply wired to fly towards the light that it may never accept that the light bulb is not the moon. And we sympathize that moth. We should have the same sympathy for our faulty wiring as we do for the moth. Give us some dots and a line, and we’ll see a face. A carrot from my garden looks like god, a mere cloud formation looks like a sign. What does it mean? A black cat crossed my path. What does it mean? An old friend calls just a minute after I was thinking about them. What does it mean? What does it mean when someone likes your fb posts and pictures, and someone doesn’t? What does it mean when someone laughs at every sentence you speak? What does it mean when you get a loud applause and when you don’t?

The answer my dear friends – is Nothing! Nothing at all. Nothing has inherent meaning. Everything is only what it is and that’s it.

The great music band Talking Heads, was popular for their redolent and mysterious lyrics. Their lyrics made you wonder what they were really about. In an interview about their lyrics, they said many of their lyrics were random. They would write random phrases on pieces of paper, then throw them into a bowl, and shuffle them up. Then they’d pull them out, and put them into the song in that order. They did this because they liked how the listener creates meaning that wasn’t intended. We assume that if someone writes a song, and sings it on the stage, it must have a meaning. Nope. It was random. Any meaning you think it contains was put there by you, and it’s yours not the writers.

Let’s get back to our original question. Who am I? Why am I here? Recently I joined yoga class. At the end of each session, the instructor asks all of us to do something that was so enlightening and refreshing. Please follow me.  Kindly close your eyes. Imagine you are sitting in your favorite place with calm and quietness! Forget everything around and focus on you. Ask yourself - who am I? Why am I here? We may not find an answer, we may not have an answer, and the answer may differ to each one. But for this moment, let’s leave it there and live a life that’s meaningful to you.