The runner !

When life sings – ‘this is the end’ and you are holding your breath and counting ten’ when all your efforts are going futile, what brings you back? – a friend, family, movie, a speech, or it’s never too late to dream or I see something in you? May be a book, alcohol? When mind sets in melancholy – there is an inner voice, call it your subconscious or soul that brings you back- that’s the song of one’s life.

Do you have song of your life?

In a certain African tribe, when a woman gets pregnant, she dwells into the wilds with people and they meditate until they hear the song of the child. They believe that every human has its own tremor that reflects an essence. When the woman attune to the song, they sing it out loud.  When they return they teach it to everyone.

They sing that song during child's birth, during child’s study, its adulthood and marriage. Lastly, when the soul is about to rest, they sing the person to next life. If ever, during one’s lifetime, the person commits a crime, they are asked to come to the village’s center and the community sings their song. The tribe trusts that refinement for crime is love and rumination of one’s own identity. When one recognizes their song, they will never hurt another.

Long back, a young child’s family approached astrologers to check child’s future prospects. 10 astrologers said that child is going to be eternally illiterate and a billionaire. That’s an offer hard to refuse. But those parents were petrified and appalled. All they did was asking the child to focus only on studies, no sports and no eloping. So no running or running away. But, they also taught that child, a song of life that had 5 words  – never never never give up that resonated in child’s mind forever.

The child grew up and completed 12^th, graduation and the law school, all with gold medal and rank. Today that child is here. Did I become a billionaire? Being literate I might have waived off that billionaire bucket. 

Did I run away? No. Did I ever run? During 10^th standard, I desired to be an all-rounder, both in studies and sports. Secretly, I registered for 100 meters race. The race day came. I was all set with energy drinks, bars, sprays and warm ups. They called – on your marks, ready set go….I hardly ran 30 meters I felt chest pain. I didn’t give up. But, by the time I reached 50 meters I was almost down and with great difficulty I reached 80 meters and crawled towards 100 meters mark.

That day I decided No Running. It was set and settled in my mind that No running. However, that song never faded. But I never ran.

Future had its own spell. In 2010, I decided to trek Everest base camp. I was so enthusiastic to climb that glorious path. The fitness test for the climb was - run 5 km every day. My devastating running history was haunting. However the Everest Base was so enticing that I started off with 100 meter run, within a week 500 meters, within a month 2 kms and within 3 months….I was able to run 5 km with enough breaks and hydration. I completed Everest Base trekking. But, I continued running and in 2012 – completed my first 10k run, then second and third and continued. 2014, I completed my first 21k. It was tough, strenuous, agonizing. But I never never never gave up. Then I started preparing myself for 42k. My run began at around 5 am. I was one among the 18 women in Bangalore who were running 42 km. A thought of giving up in between flashed in my mind several times. Then I sang for myself – ‘never never never give up’ and in 2015 - I completed my two full marathons.

We don’t have an African tribe that sings our song to us. At times, we cannot wait for someone else to sing that song for us, we have to sing our own life song to encourage our own self. We are the one who know our song and the one who can sing it for us. We might be solitary reapers in the field of our own life, and so, we have to recall our beauty when we feel ugly; our entirety when we are wrecked; our strength when we feel weak, our dreams when we are confused our virtue when we feel guilty and sing for our own self – the song of our life.