Smart Note, a miraculous demonetization gift :P

Smart Note

When the world is worried about burning Samsung notes, I am talking about a different note. My father is in ICICI, mother in Axis, brother in SBI and husband in Corporation. Sorry we aren’t a bank family; just all are standing in ATM queues. Last Sunday, I was also in need of some money but my short height couldn’t wade through the queue so I decided to visit the ATM in the midnight. I quietly go and enter the ATM and flash my debit card, ATM says – no money honey! I was in despair and about to return, suddenly ATM makes ‘’tud tud tud’ noise. Alas a new note. It slowly says – ‘hey suchi, just for you. It comes running in shah rukh khan style and stands in my palm’ 

The note gives its ice breaker speech. (It smirks and says, I know you are a toastmaster). I am smart note. One solution to all our problems. To counter poverty, terrorist financing, heavy shopping, fake notes, black money! The moment you start evading tax or file wrong returns/medical bills, I will turn automatically black in your wallet. I was in awe of this. Suddenly it winks and closes my mouth.

You know, North Korea already introduced this note. If the notes in your wallet starts vanishing I will tell, ‘aukat mein raho- stay within your limits’. The moment your spouse or children start asking you money, I will go and hide and text you- ‘sorry bro, I am not reachable’. This note has all the features. During your appraisals, the note will send an auto alert to your boss, ‘please have mercy on this fellow’. The moment you jump the signal lights, it will jump out of your wallet and go and sit in police man’s wallet. If ever you go to any government office to get done your work, it will suddenly sit on the table in front of the babus.

I wanted to check further, went to UB city and was glancing through the Louis Vuitton bag, suddenly my note says – ‘remember, you are a corporate coolie, not the CEO and toink, it gets inside my wallet.

One good thing I liked about this note is – it sends me a daily reminder of people who has to pay me money. I remember all my best friends’ every day.

It’s highly – husband friendly. It also sends a reminder to my husband if he misses to send me good morning, good afternoon and good evening messages. It totally believes in being human.  Today while I sat in my car to drive till here, it handed over my driving license and tells me, here is your license to kill the dwellers, Mrs. Bond! How diligent. It also sent a text as soon as reached, ‘Mrs. Bond, while returning, I can be your driver too.

Yesterday night I was about to sleep, and my note starts singing for me- You and I in this beautiful world and morning sends a text- you’re beautiful Suchi, whenever you go I follow, I am your hutch dog. This note and I have a love bond, so, if you ever try to steal this note, the man in the note will come and slap you, one phataak! 

Pick More Daisies

Pick More Daisies

March 19, 2016. Speeches, national anthems of two countries, songs, felicitation and all gala set the ball rolling at the Eden Garden as arch-rivals India and Pakistan clashed in a World Twenty20 match. The event made 1 billion cricket fans rejoice and despise!

Any idea who won?  You are right and wrong! – The men’s match was won by India; whereas female cricket – Pakistan won it. Pakistan's Women Cricket Captain, Sana Mir said that men tend to make better cooks than cricket players and that she was looking forward to Afridi making biryani upon his return home. I remember the day when a reporter asked Afridi about Pakistan's Women's Cricket and he replied saying women can make good biryani.

No matter whether we are in 21^st century or 22nd, we aren’t still out of the gender discrimination or the patriarchy. Everyone ridicules Anushka Sharma for Virat Kohli’s bad innings, but never saw anybody praising Anjali Tendulkar for Sachin’s great performance.

Helen Blanchard was her name. The Toastmasters International was commenced for men. In 1920s, Mr. Ralph Smedley designed TM for men, to improve their communication and leadership skills. So, women weren’t allowed to be a part of the toastmasters. But as usual, all women got curious as to why only men are allowed and why not women. So, there cometh a confident female character, who dressed up like a man and visited Toastmasters meeting regularly. She imitated men while talking, while responding and while debating. So, Helen became Homer and became one of the best speakers in the District and later a District Governor. Well, there were few who doubted Homer’s weird behavior like bringing soup to meetings, over-organization, and an eye for details etc. Finally she became the first female President of the Toastmasters International.

But, that paved the way for infiltration of women to the Toastmaster’s world, in the year 1973. Today TM has more than 2 lakhs female members all over the world.

This world has had numerous men and women who stood out and took risks for the betterment of the women. May it be Susan B Anthony, the woman who fought for universal suffrage or others who fought for women’s right in general.

There are few such robust women in our own land. Jyotiba Phule, a 19^th century activist, a social reformer, critic of the caste system, founded a school for girls, who started widow-remarriage initiative, and started a home for infant girls to discourage female infanticide.

Bhanwari Devi, a victim of gang rape who pivoted in getting the most valuable law – Vishaka Guidelines, dealing with laws against harassment of women at workplace. Sunitha Krishnan, another rape victim who brought Prajwala and works with the UN in combating human trafficking and also for the welfare of people with HIV infection. Leila Seth, the first female judge of an Indian High Court and who fought for equal right for female in the ancestral property in India.

All these females had one thing in common; they dared to make more mistakes. They didn’t mere relax or limber up. They took their dignity and self-respect quite seriously. They took more chances. They did try to climb more mountains and swim more rivers. They perhaps invited more actual troubles, than living in an imaginary fairytale world.

They lived sensibly and sanely, hour after hour, day after day. They had their moments, and if they had to do it over again, they’d have more of them. They lived just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day.

As one of the famous women says, that applies to all of us- If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would commit more mistakes, I would speak up more, and I would stand up for my own rights. I will scream for my own self respect and dignity.  I would pick more daisies and see if I could move that small stone to make a teeny weeny difference in the world.