An open ode to that noble man.....!

There are days in your life, which changes your way of thinking, vision, perception, total mindset. A single spark leads to an eternal enlightenment. These experiences and moments are everlasting. They leave an extraordinary mark in your life. Life would be unfinished without them. Such instances make the person who you are today. The contradictions to such instances bewilder you. 

That was the time Katrina hit the coastal. Heavy rainfall, wind, breeze, roads filled with water, stuck traffic on the road, public life was slowed down for a bit for few days. And, yes,I was traveling from Chennai to Bangalore. Due to the last minute decision,I couldn’t get flight or train. The left option was bus. Booked the tickets and the “cautious” me made me to book a cab too, realizing it would be difficult to get an auto to the bus-stand in the night. The bus departure time was 10 pm. Well, I was much ahead of time, so booked the cab for 7pm itself. Always better to be early than miss the bus, is the humble principle which enchants me! The cab didn’t turn up. Non-receipt of call, no response,etc. made me to realize that the cab is not going to turn up and I was right. I had no other way left but to catch an auto. After all the bargains for money/route etc, got into an auto with an old-aged driver. 

After 10 minutes, the auto driver,took a cross road, to which I objected, saying, it’s better to take main road during night especially when it’s raining. But he said “all main roads blocked, it will take 2 hours (normal distance – 20 minutes), so better to take cross road”, in Tamil. I could decipher that much Tamil,thanks to my stay in Chennai and love for that language developed due to Tamil music. After 15 minutes in the cross road, I could see, water flowing on the road, somehow hesitated and conveyed my worry to the driver. Well,he thought, what this girl would know about Chennai roads. Of course, I wasn’t aware where I am. Next few minutes, water started hitting my feet,gushing through auto from all sides. I lifted my feet, few inches up. But that wasn’t helping. Soon, I realized, that we are wedged, in the middle of nowhere. Pitch dark, isolated, totally shady, water spouting on the road, all the roads blocked, with this old man, auto and me. I started calling my friend. Well, what she could do? She informed my landlord and asked them to reach me soon. I get a call from my landlord saying “not to worry, we will come and pick you up, tell us where you are”. I had no clue. I landed in nowhere. Well, asked this old man, who was trying his best to move the auto, neither did he know.

Hmm Hmm…..auto didn’t move an inch, how will it-with that much of water on the road? Helpless, yes! Amidst all these, all I could feel was “helpless”. Well, thanks to my friend,who was persistently cheering me up over the phone. In that darkness, I could see two men coming from the other side of the road, pushing a bike in the watery road. I gathered myself and just could utter one word “Help”. They stopped. In my English mixed Tamil, I just said – “Have to reach bus stand and have a bus at 10 pm”. The guy responded in Tamil, “road is filled with water ahead, that’s why we had to come back. But again,there is no other road for you to go. You have to walk further 3 km in the same watery road”. 

Even in catastrophe, life gives choices and I had two- go back (which is again – 8-9 kms) or go ahead.I chose the latter. These two men asked me to walk along with them. After10 minutes of walk, one guy asked my laptop bag and the backpack because,the water level on the road was increasing and he saw me struggling to carry the same. He kept them on this bike and was pushing it further. After few minutes again, they realized that, bike cannot move any further. So,first guy asked the second guy to take the bike back and park it somewhere and go home. And he decided to walk with me further. 

This man took my bags on his head and started walking with me. I couldn’t do anything but thank him in my mind. At the same time, my inner mind was totally scared. With utmost fear,with all my life in hand, I was walking. To increase my fear, after sometime, I could notice big line of all NP trucks parked on either side of the road, in that speckled shadowy road. I just put my head down and continued walking. The overflowing water had no limit and it kept on increasing.Water level increased till my waist. This man said “please don’t walk on the sides, there might be manholes/ gutter; please walk beside me and if you have no problem, you can hold my hand”. I had no other choice left,but to trust him. And, yes, after all that walk for 1 hour, my judgment couldn’t go wrong. He is trustworthy. All I was telling myself is “you have to get out of this, even if it takes till next day morning; and of course, you don’t want to die in this water”. 

There was steep silence, except the water flowing sound. We had nothing else to talk. I was all drenched,so was he. But he ensured that my bags are safe in his hand, so is me.And, after almost walking for 1 and half hour, he showed me some light at the end of the road. “That’s the bus stand madam”, he slowly voiced.Yes, for a moment I felt, I survived and am still alive. And, my feet kind of hurried a bit in relaxation. Finally, reached the bus-stand and he kept my bags down from his head. I had no words to thank him; no emotions left to express my feelings; no gestures to convey my gratitude. All I could say was “Sir, you saved my life and I owe you”. He smiled, I felt so small in front of him, when I forwarded Rs.1000 currency note to him. He enlarged beyond my mind and respect, when he politely denied it and said“Be safe madam”. Yes, if there are people like him everywhere, we all will be safe. No doubt about it. He didn’t agree to take money from me.All I could do was – handover a packet of sweets which I had with me.I just asked “at least I want to know your name sir”. He replies with the same smiley face “I am a flower vendor here in the market madam. People call me Perumaan”. Perumaan, in Tamil means “Noble Man”; and he really is!!! Words fail me to thank that noble man, and tears flow incessantly when I think of him in retrospect. 

I hear people saying Tamilians are rude, Kannadigas are selfish or people from specific state are arrogant and they never like Kannadigas, Marathis, Gujarathis, Northies etc. We attach stigmas,we generalize, we tag people, region, state, nation, gender with our own prejudices. Yes, constantly there are politically motivated atrocities,outrages etc. between nations, states, regions, people, community, race and religion. However, a good human will be good to everyone irrespective of who the fellow human is. If someone is good to you because you are from the same religion, community, nation, race, gender etc, then they are worse humans. In that disaster, that man didn’t bother about my region, language, color, gender, state, status etc. He treated me as a fellow human. Whenever I come across incidents like humans killing another human, raping a girl, assaulting another person,the picture of this noble man waves in my mind and I feel, there is still bastion of hope, there is always light in the end of the tunnel, which makes it worth living for…

To Her with Love

It is said - If you want to know the value of one year, just ask a student who failed a course.  If you want to know the value of one month, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.  If you want to know the value of one hour, ask the lovers waiting to meet.  If you want to know the value of one minute, ask the person who just missed the bus.  If you want to know the value of one second, ask the person who just escaped death in a car accident.  And if you want to know the value of one-hundredth of a second, ask the athlete who won a silver medal in the Olympics. If you want to know the value of ‘speech’ – stand in front of a person who cannot speak and hear!

It’s November 16. Like many, I too opted for the Corporate Volunteering at SKID. When I started from home, I never knew that it would be a memorable experience. All I was worried of was – hope students listen to me and don’t make me dance to their tune! We all know how we made it tough for our teachers. I reached the school, much before time and  waited patiently till all the students got in. The principal came, greeted and assigned me one of the students.

Well, a first grade student who is still struggling with her numerical- a charming girl with a questioning face, twisted lips and mischievous eyes. She almost looked like – “don’t worry lady, I will take care of you” kind of attitude. Her name was Anusuya and everyone calls her Anu. Principal gave me a short introduction about the student, saying she is very rough, tough to handle and difficult to control, hyper-active etc. I knew how it is going to be for another 3 hours, which I am going to spend with this student, Anu.

We got into the class-room and all I had to teach her was how to write 1-20 in letters. So, we started our session. I took the chalk piece and wrote 1-20 numbers and tried to tell her in gestures that – she has to write down those numbers in letters. Teaching ‘one’ was fine. When it came to number ‘2’ – we had disagreement. I wrote ‘t’, the letter ‘l’ first and then upper hyphen. Girl refuted me and said first you write that hyphen and then l.

She used to get distracted very quickly, just like mercury, a very short attention span. Run here and there and check the entire objects in the room. There was this bicycle in the room. Before she could finish writing 15, she wanted to sit on that, peddle it and jump from the table. I was running behind her, like the one who tries to catch a butterfly. Finally, she completed 20, for which I had to bribe her saying – I will let her peddle the bicycle once again. 

Once we were  done, she didn’t even bother to say a “thank you”. She just disappeared like a bubble. Principal was asking me – how was the experience? I said – “mind-blowing”. Well, she further says – she is neglected at her home. She is the 5^th among her 9 siblings. She lost her father recently and her family came and admitted her to this residency school. She craves for human love, and  attention. I felt “devastated” hearing the story of that small baby girl. That moment I decided to come once again to be with her. I understood the value of my own life, we have everything, but still we complain, criticize, grumble and never happy with the things we have in life. If we don’t value what we have, we will never value what we get too. My mind was totally into that girl, her charming face, and eyes full of questions. And, she couldn’t communicate in words; her life is a life of silence.

While I was bidding bye to the school, from nowhere, Anu, came running towards me and held my hand. I was stunned and startled, as to what she is up to. She makes a hand gesture asking me to bend down. I bent and she gently kissed my forehead, holds my hand and touches my cheeks and leaves me totally astonished and I was speechless for a moment. She is so cheerful, full of energy, at that moment she looked like bright sunshine. The little small girl reiterated the value of life, relationships, affection, care and concern for each other and human bonding. That is beyond words! The words she spoke are beyond description and  explanation. She spoke the unspoken, she taught the unraveled and she explained the unexplainable. This is truly to her with love. !    

Trust

This incident happened with me- I was in the lift and a family got into the lift along with me. This gentleman asked me is 717 in 7^th floor…..I said it’s in 8^th floor….but- why 717? So, he says – we have to go to 717. I was surprised – I asked – who are you looking for in 717?….he looked confused, then I corrected myself and said – I stay in 717, I am afraid if you are looking for 717. He realized I guess and said – I am sorry; may be then next building- and they just went off…..!!He didn’t even check with the security …

It puzzled me again, though I was happy that a stranger trusted me, I was asking myself - what if I was lying to him.  Many a times, even when I have to confirm the address, I cross verify with someone else, never ever go by only one person’s information…. He didn’t even cross-verify with anyone; they just walked off….

My question to all of you is – what it takes to trust a person? How much you trust a stranger?

Iron Lady

Smile, while you have teeth....

"Spring has past, summer has gone and winter is here. And the song that I meant to sing remains unsung. I have spent my days stringing and unstringing my instrument." – Words of a man whose heart was filled with regret over a life half-lived. Rather than singing his dream song, he spent his days delaying and waiting until things were just right before he acted - "stringing and unstringing his instrument”.

She was my classmate and my neighbor. We walked, talked, played, jumped, studied, danced, sang, bullied others everything together- just like two peas in a pod.  How can I forget those days –getting caught while trying to pluck mangoes from neighbor’s mango tree, our great scheme to smoke cigarette, trespass teachers garden for flowers. It was all forgiven in the name of naughty child’s playful triumph. Our friendship, a red red rose, came to an end – with a pinch. When she slapped another friend of mine – I pinched her- she pinched back. Gloomy end of a blooming friendship. We stopped talking, playing, naughtiness; for a fifth standard girl, it was week’s cry to cope up with her friend’s total silence, negligence, arrogance. So, during school farewell, I thought of going to her and giving her a chocolate.

Well, mind said – even she could do that. So didn’t do it. After fifth, we changed school. But still we were neighbors, every day I would look forward to my mother for the news – oh your friend came today to say hi, hello. But, my wait didn’t end.

I thought, she would be invited to my home sometimes, and that time, I will talk to her, will brag about my teachers, friends and school. She never came. Every day, we would look at each other but turn our face.

Year passed by thus. We stepped on to high school. And we still weren’t out of our hatred, loathing and disgust. It was a Wednesday afternoon. Our English teacher was reading William Blake’s The Poison tree

“I was angry with my friend:

I told my wrath, my wrath did end.

I was angry with my foe:

I told it not, my wrath did grow”

Well, I was angry with my friend and I didn’t tell my wrath and it did grow. Grow beyond repair. That day I decided- that I shall go to her and make friends again. So, I thought that weekend would be a good day. That day, while on my bed, I was thinking – this is what I should tell her as the reason for such delay, she would all be fine and my friend again. Next afternoon I get news that – that girl with beautiful eyes died due to drowning in the sea, while on the beach.

I was dejected, disgusted, and devastated. I still am left with that grief, a tormenting truth haunting my life, I didn’t smile, when I could, I didn’t forgive/ forget, while I could, I didn’t talk, while I should have; I didn’t meet, while I could have. I stuck in between my procrastination, ego, laid back like rip van winkle, in my lazy slumber. I kept on postponing, procrastinating, waiting for a good day to start with. It was fleeting shadow on a cloudy day. Time waits for none. The time bygone is gone by. I don't know who coined these phrases, but they must have been depressive and gloomy. We are like ostrich, trying to hide our head in the sand and hoping it to fade!

"It is an undoubted truth that the less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it." You may delay but time will not. The best way to get something done is to begin. Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week. Tomorrow is the day when idlers work, and fools reform and mortal men lay hold on heaven. Tomorrow is the only day in the year that appeals to a lazy man. A year from now you may wish you had started today."

 ‘At thirty, man suspects himself a fool; knows it at forty, and reforms his plan; at fifty chides his infamous delay, pushes his prudent purpose to resolve; in all the nobility of thought, resolves, and re-resolves, then dies the same, says a wise man.  Know the true value of time; snatch, seize, and enjoy every moment. No idleness, laziness and procrastination. Be happy, not because everything is good, But because you can always find the good side of everything.

Next time you say, "I can do this later", think like Nike, Just do it! The feeling you get when you accomplish is much better than putting it off.

If you miss someone, call them. If you want to meet up, invite them. If you want to be understood, explain things. If you have a question ask them, if you don’t like something, say it; if you like something state it, if you dream something, work upon it. We just have one life, which is short and sweet; keep it simple; smile- smile while you still have teeth.